Closets Are For Clothes
by Pardon My Focking French
Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wallflower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts? Temp. hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

I lean against my locker and breathe in deep.

_In.._

_Out..._

_In.._

_Out..._

Everyday, she comes down this hallway with her clique of followers, unseeing of my eyes upon her every curve, her every movement, however slight it may be. Her every motherfucking beautiful breath. Maybe I'm creepy. Perhaps I'm a stalker...

Maybe I'm in spontaneous-love? I don't really know...

I just can't seem to _stop_. She is so-super-ultra perfect in the way she moves, the way she looks around all wide-blue-eyed innocent, and mushy kindness seeping from her pores. She's so sweet. So motherfucking sweet in the way she acts toward people. She treats everyone the same, no matter their clique. No matter what her little followers think. She loves everyone, I think literally. And when she is around, everyone stops what they're doing to impress her.

People will stop being bullies when she passes by, and become a fucking _humane_-being. It's marvelous to witness how one could become the polar opposite of themselves, become better. Just because some all-around-sweet-as-candy-canes girl walks by. She could start a revolution. _A One Girl Revolution_... Never thought that song would actually become relevant in real life. But she makes it so.

I can spend every minute of my miniscule life staring at her, hoping in fucking vain that she will just look my way, notice me. She never does, though. She's too busy paying attention to the people who actually exist. I don't think she realizes it. In fact I am sure that she doesn't. She's too much of a sweetheart-saint to just ignore the existence of someone. Even if that someone is me. I'm just non-existent. And I usually prefer it that way. I get by and no one gives me crap. No one teases me. No one taunts me. No one _looks_ at me. How can you look at someone who doesn't exist? I can get by with no issues. To me, this is the good life. Or, it _**was**_.

Until three years ago, the start of high school, freshman year. _She _swept into town with a silver spoon in her mouth and a golden harp in her delicate little hands; The Angel, as I like to call her. Because honestly, one look and you can just see that she is one. There is no other words to describe her. She's an angel, sent down from Heaven to better people with her mere intoxicating presence.

Touched by the perfect hands of God. Untouchable by the hands of... me.

She had walked into the school, just a freshman herself, acting as if she owned the place. And she did. Everyone knew it. No one even tried to deny the little sweetheart her rightful role as queen. The very moment I cast my eyes upon her elfin-likeness I was enthralled. Captured by the sheer perfection of her. And because she was so beautiful, I had expected her to be vain. I had expected her to abuse the power she held over her peers.

She never did.

She never stepped out of bounds. She always kept it real. Still does. Always will.

She's simply sweet, and way too far out of my league.

I sigh when she passes me, waving to the group of girls next to me, not even glancing my way. I pull myself away from my locker when she turns into the adjoining hallway. I look down the other hall for the two people who actually know of my existence. I met them when I was three, so they never really had a choice in the matter. Our parents are all buddies, therefore, we are. I couldn't ask for two better than Jasper and Edward, though.

_They should be coming soon..._ Just as the thought passes, they come come barreling through the front entrance door, big smiles on their model-movie-star faces. Perhaps that is why I am invisible? I hang out with two shining stars. Who would be able to see a spec in space with that bright light shining in their eyes?

I watch them with a large-longing smile on my face as they trample people in their little game of cat and mouse. Jasper ahead of Edward, laughing and loving every minute of their lovers game.

I can't help the giggle from bursting through my lips.

It isn't anything new, but it gives me heart-tickles and love-longing every time I witness it. Jasper and Edward are by far the cutest couple to ever walk into Forks High. Hell, to ever walk into Forks itself.

People in town, distastefully, call them the 'Jedward Monster.' Everyday, they show their love and affection for each other and they don't give a flying squirrel who sees. It's fucking amazing and part of the reason I love them so damn much.

**Freedom**!

Edward chases Jasper through the halls, gaining the attention and dissatisfaction of our fellow peers. They don't care about the whispers that are aimed their way. They don't care about the sideways glances as Edward makes a playful grab for Jasper's baggy jean-clad bubble butt. Jasper squeaks in a very unmanly fashion, but totally unrepentant as he slyly-shyly smiles at the other half of his soul over his shoulder. He quickly turns around on Edward and slaps him across the face with his bright yellow binder.

Edward, as usual, is not at all fazed. He just laughs and grabs his same-sex-love-buddy by the two front loops of his jeans and pulls him in for a searing kiss that makes my face light up in a feverish blush. They make me wish I was more free. Like them. Not so enclosed in on myself.

They make me wish I had the bravery it takes to tell the world that: _"YEAH, I'm gay! What of it?"_

But... I don't. That would get me noticed in this one-Starbucks town. And not in any good kind of way. In a town like this, same sex relationships are frowned upon. Horribly so. No one goes on witch hunts or tries to burn them at the stake, but they'll sit you down and throw holy water at you.

'The power of Christ compels you' kind of stuff. Damn religious morons here, I swear.

Jasper spies me huddling into myself, hovering near the safety of my dented-in locker. He smirks and waves at me, grabbing Edward by the front of his pants, dipping his fingers slightly into the waistband of his too-tight skinnies, and all I can think is _'I wish someone would touch me that way.'_ And I think we all get that that someone is...

"So I saw _Alice_ a few minutes ago. She is lookin' good today, huh?" Edward wags his eyebrows suggestively, wrapping the arm that isn't in Jasper's back pocket around my shoulders.

I grimace. "Shut up."

He just laughs and gives Jasper _that look_. You know, the look your closest friends share when they think you're a total spaz? Yeah. They share that look a lot. It's tied with their icky-lovey-dovey bedroom eyes actually.

"I don't get women, man," Jasper says as we walk, all connected in some way to each other, to our shared first period. "If you like the girl, why don't you just say it?"

Now, I give _him_ a look. "Are you in-fucking-sane Jasper Whitlock? You're off your rocker if you think for one millisecond that that will go down smoothly!" I'm whisper-yelling now. Not that it matters. To my peers, it probably looks as if Edward has his arm around air.

"She's Alice! Alice fucking Hale! Hello! Her sister is a runway model. Her mother plucks celebrity eyebrows. Her father is apart of every charity known to man!"

"And you're Bella. Your point is what?" Edward asks, cockily raising his caveman eyebrow. I huff and push him away from me. He only high-pitch-giggles and pulls me back into our little impenetrable bubble. "Seriously?"

"My _point,_ is exactly that! She _is_ Alice. I _am _Bella. She is way out of my league! Not to mention the fact that she is fucking straight!" Deal breaker. Even if I had the slightest chance to even be worthy of breathing the same air as that wonderful little-perfect that haunts my every thought, it wouldn't matter. She's straight.

She's motherfucking straight! _And as far as everyone is concerned, so am I._

Proof of Alice's total non-lesbigayness being her two year relationship with Mike Newton. They broke up just a few weeks ago, and there hasn't been any stint in offers and dates for her either. All guys. All the time. All the ling long day.

It sickens me to my very core, the thought of her with some grimy dude all over her, disrespecting her space. Though, whatever I think of _them_ doing to her isn't nearly as rated XXX as what _I_ _want_ to do to her, all night, all day, all the motherfucking time.

I'm sick. So sick.

"You never know, Little B," Jasper says with that all-knowing-know-it-all smirk that never fails to make me want to smack him so hard his two front teeth switch places. "may surprise ya. I thought Edward was straight before he very nearly jumped me at my birthday party." He winks and jabs Edward in his side.

"I never once thought _you_ were straight, Jas," he quips, dazzle-the-pants-off-of-everyone smile in place.

"That's because I'm comfortable with my sexuality," he fires back, my presence pretty much forgotten. The one downside to being best friends with a couple as close-as-close-can-get is that they can sometimes get so absorbed in each other, you're kind of just _there_. Your input/presence is totally unneeded.

But it doesn't hurt my feelings, or make me resent them. I love them. Together. To me, they are like everyone's favorite TV couple. Kind of Ross and Rachael. Fun to watch. Must know what will happen next. Sometimes when I watch them, I feel the need to pop some corn.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Edward rolls his eyes. "That's why you push me away from you whenever your grandmama comes to visit? Because you're so super comfortable with the fact that you're a flaming homo?"

_Uh-oh. _

Jasper sighs, pulling his hands away from Edwards lean hips. "I said I was sorry like a thousand times? How many more times do I have to say it?"

"Until your granny gives you away at our wedding," Edward says so matter-of-absolute-factory as he eyes his boy-man-boo from head to toe.

Jasper grunts his discomfort and moves away from Edward to stand on the other side of me. "She's old school, dammit. I don't want to give her a heart attack! Now drop it."

Edward and Jasper rarely fight, but when they do, it makes everyone within a mile radius sourly UN-comfortable. They are like an old married couple with their back and forth back and forth back and forth, bicker bicker bicker. I often have to act as the buffer for their arguments.

"Guys, please!" I put my hand on Edward's advancing chest. He can get pretty heated sometimes. He'd sooner jab a toothpick into his own bellybutton before he ever laid a hand on his Jasper, but I don't like taking chances. He's a bit of a wild card.

I change the subject quickly onto the math test we're going to have to suffer through next period, and the thickness of the atmosphere slowly melts away. By the time we reach our class, the lovebirds are back to touching and tickling.

As is the way.

* * *

"_Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality._ ~_James Baldwin_

* * *

The day, as always, is dragging ass. I feel like I have been here for the whole day, but I still have three periods to go. Three, boringly-mind shattering-soul breaking-ass numbing classes to go. And that doesn't even include lunch.

Edward, Jasper, and I sit at our usual table on the edges, near the middle, not quite in the line of sight. Close to the popular kids, yet far away enough to still be able to hear the band geeks discuss the importance of the triangle. "There are no lame instruments, just lame instrument players" and all that drabble.

I see her. From my carefully picked out place just barely across the room, I see her. She's sitting with Tyler Crowley, nibbling on her pizza dripping with grease. I can see the body language. I can easily tell that they are flirting. He leans in way-too-close-for-my-liking to whisper something in her ear, and she giggles, letting him.

I'm sick.

I look away from the disgusting display and concentrate on my food. But she is always in my peripheral. I have Alice-radar. I'm tuned into her FM. I wish I could change the channel sometimes.

"Tyler doesn't stand a chance," Jasper assures me, patting my arm in what I assume he thinks is soothing. It just made me feel...stupid. I must look a fool to my besties. Wanting someone who doesn't even know I am alive. A pauper pining after a princess.

"He's quarterback of the football team," I remind him. Obviously he stands a very high chance. Alice only dates the best. She _is_ Alice.

Edward snorts around his mouthful of cafeteria-garbage. "He also has a stack of dimes where his dick should be." Me and Jasper look at him, raising our eyebrows in surprise and, in Jasper's case, barely suppressed raging jealousy. Edward notices our stares and quickly elaborates. "Locker room! Hello! We have gym together," he snickers, swinging his arm over his disgruntled Jas. He chuckles and mutters a low, "Fucking idiots." before re-stuffing his mouth and giving Jasper a slippy-sloppy meat sauce kiss on his neck.

Again, I am hit with love-longing. I want that! Dam-_mit_. I look back at the woman I never actually stop seeing and sigh as she turns her head away from Tyler's incoming lips. She lightly touches her pretty-plump mouth to his lucky cheek. He has the audacity to look disappointed. I sneer and fight back the urge to bark at the selfish, greedy little bastard. He should be glad someone so superior pays him any mind at all.

"Okay, this is getting sad. Ridiculous!" Edward abruptly stands from his seat and gives me a disapproving glare. "Stupid baby. Ridiculous little closeted..." he mutters as he stomps by me. I watch in horror as he makes a beeline for...

"What is he doing?" I turn my wide, panicked eyes to Jasper and he has the gull to look mildly amused.

"Doing something he often has to." He hitches his shoulders and takes a bite of his pasta. "He's taking matters into his own hands."

"What?" Panic panic panic! For the love of God and Heaven, let lightening strike down and stop this injustice! "What matter? There is no matter for him to take! This is my matter!" I look between Jasper chewing and Edward advancing in on Alice-Pretty-Alice, and it's like everything is going in slow m otion.

He reaches the table and smiles at Alice.

_I feel sick._

Alice gestures her little hands for him to grab himself a seat, but he shakes his head and leans down close, getting between her and that insufferable Tyler Crowley. I can see his mouth moving, but I can't fucking read his lips. He points over at our table and Alice's eyes follow the movement. She looks at Jasper, then her eyes slowly roam over to...me.

_I think I might puke._

Our eyes make brief contact before I snap my head to the side so quick, I heard something crack. However brief the contact was, I felt something stir inside my tummy. I feel it wiggle its way up up up and into my heart. Electricity pulses, in that brief moment. I bury my face in Jasper's sweater and peek back over with one eye. She isn't looking at me anymore. She's staring wide-eyed at my traitorous ex-best friend.

_I feel kind of dizzy._ _Oh...is the room spinning?_

I see her tilt her head to the side, her silky hair falling over her questioning eyes slightly as Edward says something else. I'm dying to know what. She looks startled for a moment before she smiles unsure-like. She nods her head and gestures to her friends all sitting around her, who are looking on with the same expression of interest, shock, and disbelief. Ed nods his head and pats the Queens back lightly.

The slow motion moment comes to a stop. Everything speeds up as he leaves the cool kids table behind and strolls back to ours with his hands buried in his pockets, a skip to his step and a satisfied smile on his face. I pull him to me when he reaches the table, making him topple over and fall on my lap. I hold him there, my desperate hands grasping his full head of hair. "What the fuck did you just do?" I ask, deadly calm.

"What I had to," he laughs, trying to pull himself out of my arms. I hold him in place with strength I didn't even know I had.

"What did you do?" I ask again, the panic hedging its way in, hysterical hysteria replacing the calm with violent vigor.

"You didn't, like, sell her out, did ya?" Jasper asks, trying to take his struggling boyfriend from the vice tight grip I have on his hair.

"Of course not." He rolls his eyes. I sigh shakily and allow him to get up. He giggles once he is standing and playfully ruffles my hair. "I just invited her and her hoard of sheep to the party." He smirks at me and sits back down to eat.

"What party?" Jasper and I both ask.

"_Our_ party."

"Our party?" I echo, feeling the uneasiness return full-fold.

"Yup," he answers, looking way too proud of himself. "You best make sure you don't look like a frumpy-dumpy-duckling tonight, Swan," he warns with sincere seriousness. I gape at him, unable to come up with the words.

How does one properly kill their best friend with words alone? I wonder. The scheming, conniving little basket full of bitches needs to learn to mind his own damn beeswax. But I can't help feeling relieved that he didn't out me. Also...maybe I am a little excited...maybe, possibly, could be...I don't know.

My heart b-b-beats _Alice_. How could I not be excited at the possible prospect of being near her?

"I hate you," I lie, glaring at Edward.

"You fucking love me. I'm gonna get you some pussy tonight."

"Gawahd," Jas spits his pasta grossly back on his plate just as the bell rings and I roll my eyes. "There's a visual I really didn't need."

"I highly doubt that, Mr. Cullen." Ignoring Jasper, I pack my things up and carry my tray to the bin with Jedward following close behind me. I look over my shoulder as I dump my barely eaten slop. "I'm not like you. I can't be gay and proud. Neither can 'You-Know-Who.' It's just a vain effort on your part, man."

Edward wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me into the hallway. He leans down and whispers, "Closets are for clothes. Speaking of which, you need some for tonight. Hows about a little shoppy?"

_Dear God,_

_Help me._

_Sincerely, _

_Isabella._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

"This isn't the year to be screwing around, Isabella. You're running out of time to impress Ivy League colleges." Dad says, stuffing more cheese ravioli into that stupid hole in his face. That stupid hole that spouts stupid, moronic crap. He swallows loudly. I cringe back, letting my own forkful fall to my plate. "I wont have you limiting your options now just because you've suddenly decided that you want to fit it," he scoffs.

I nod my head and look down at my plate. I pick back up my fork and cut my ravioli into microscopic pieces of nothing. I already knew the answer would be a resounding, echoing, fucking never ending "NO" but the disappointment is almost too much to bear.

No Alice.

No chance.

No motherfucking life.

"I don't think it's too bad, Charlie." My head and face shoot up from the down-frown and I look at my mother, colored in surprise. It's surprising because Mom never inserts her opinion. I look at Dad, at a loss for words.

_Is she allowed to do that? _

"She should get these high school experiences, don't you think?" My mother smiles at her dimwitted husband, in her oh-so innocent way. Father says nothing. He just stares. I feel like I am witnessing a car crash. I feel helpless as Mom's smile falters and she looks at me out of the corner of her eye. I don't know what to do.

"I mean...better she get them out of the way now, instead of having a drastic midlife crisis, right?" Mom has always warned me about poking the bear. Taunting the bull. Never upset Daddy, is life.

_What is she **doing**?_

Still, he says nothing. He does nothing. It's fucking frightening. "Uhm, I'm just saying, sweetie, that I don't want her to wake up one day, forty years old and wishing she had done things differently. Gone out more, made more friends..." She trails off at the scowl forming on my fathers face. That scowl that speaks volumes and volumes. That scowl that says, _'Who the fuck do you think you are?'_

When he finally opens his mouth, I'm scared. I fear my father and for good reason. "Don't you undermine me, Renee," he threatens, death glare firmly in place. "Don't you dare ever undermine me. This is my damn house, my damn property, and my damn child. When I say no, you better fucking believe that that is the end of the discussion."

Mom nods and bows her head in submission and all I can think is I want reach across the table, grab his fat fucking head, and brutally beat it into his ravioli. And he isn't even finished yet.

"You want our daughter to go to some damn party? Why?" he demands. His voice is resounding in the small space. "I asked you a question, Renee. Why?"

"I told you why," she whispers pathetically. I feel my face growing hot with an anger I'll never be able to show or express in any way. And it only increase when he reaches across the table and hits Mom upside the head, not hard. But hurting her physically isn't the point.

He's putting her in her place.

"I want a good reason, Renee. Give me a good reason."

"I...I just think that Bella should be allowed to go. We know the Cullen's. There wont be any drinking...no roughhousing. I don't see the harm." Her voice is nothing but below a whisper and her lip trembles as she sniffles and DAMMIT I want to hit him so bad, I can feel my bones cracking with the strain to stay in place.

He reaches over and hits her again. "A good reason, Renee." He's so icy calm, calm-before-the-storm. "Give. Me. A. Good. Reason. Renee."

"She should have the privilege of spending time-"

_slap _"A good reason, Renee."

Mom cries a little and I die a little.

"I told you a good-"

_slap _"Try again, Renee." _slap _"C'mon." _slap _"You're suddenly so outspoken, give me another little speech, Renee." _slap _"Now."_ slap slap slap_

"There isn't one," she finally sighs, sniffles, sobs, looking at me regretfully. I can feel the tears behind my eyes as I try to stop myself from glaring at the MotherFucker.

"That's what a I thought." He smirks, looks at me and reaches over, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it. I don't flinch away. My muscles are wound too tight for such a movement as that. "Now that we have your mothers opinion," he rolls his eyes, further degrading the broken woman. "do you understand? No parties."

"Yes, Dad. I understand." He smiles brighter and kisses my hand again. I'm disgusted by him but, of course, I say nothing. What could I say, except...

"May I please be excused? I have a lot of reading homework to do."

"That's what I like to hear," Father grunts as he stands his fat-stereotypical-cop-ass up from the dining table. "I'm workin' late tonight," he sighs and bends down to kiss his stepford wife on her forehead, then does the same to his dutiful daughter – the perfect fucking family, ha fucking ha. "No funny business." he warns, eyeing us both.

He just leaves with a smile. Like he isn't the biggest piece of shit in Forks.

When I hear the car leave the driveway, I turn to Mom, who is picking up all the dishes. I try to help her but she swats my hands away and smiles sadly at me. "Mommy," I'm almost crying, but I wont. Crying gets me nowhere. It doesn't even make me feel better anymore. "I'm sorry. I'm so so so so sorry. I shouldn't have even asked. I just wanted-"

"Hush, little girl." She grabs me in her arms and I cant help but fall into her. She's my haven. "It isn't a crime to want things, Bella. It isn't a crime to party," she laughs and pulls me away from her gently, kissing the spot on my forehead my father did just a minute before, washing away his negative with her super charged-positive. I do the same to her and she grins at me. "You better call Jasper now. You don't have much time left to get a little shopping done before the party."

I look at her like she's gone crazy, because I honestly think she has. "Uhm, what? Dad said...he said..._what_?"

"Forget what your father said and listen to what I am saying." She grabs me again, firmly this time and looks into my eyes with her matching ones. "You're denied too many things, but I will never deny you a social life. That's just cruel. I don't want you to make a habit out of partying and being stupid, but I want you to have fun times to remember tonight, okay? Have fun, get down with your bad self, let loose, whatever," she waves her hand, laughing in a way that sounds odd coming from her. "Just. Have. Some. Damn fun for once."

I don't want to make her feel like she has no say, but I can't help but point out the obvious. "But Dad-"

"Wont find out," she stresses, pushing me backwards and forwards with every word. "As long as you are back before 1am. He usually comes home around 3 or 4 in the morning, but just to be on the safe side..."

"Really?" I smile slightly, not wanting to get my hopes up that this whole thing wont come crashing down on me and my mom.

"Yes. Call Jasper and GTFO."

"Mother!" I laugh, shocked by her new found behavior. "Where did you learn that?" The better question would be, 'Why the fucksickle is she using text talk in real life?'

"My new friend. Phyllis." That's all she says before she hip bumps me over to the wall phone. I quickly, excitedly, call a shrieking Jasper – he and Edward are just not on good terms since the whole Grammy incident – and fill him in on what's going on. He says 1am is a good time to stop when popping a party cherry. Whatever-the-hell that means.

* * *

"_I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium." ~Stephen Wright_

* * *

"I just don't like your body," Jasper sighs, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, you're a fucking faggot, so..." I say rudely, but seriously... the fuck?! I turn away from him and walk back to the cart my clothes are sitting on, swiping them into my arms roughly. I am so fucking done with this shit. I should have just listened to my father and stayed home and done my homework like the good little nerd I am.

"Izzy-boo," Jas laughs, coming up behind me. He pulls the ugly piss-yellow dress from my body and grabbing my clothes from my hands. I shriek, covering myself. "You have a wonderful bod, baby. It's just hard to put nice clothes on, ya know?"

"I think we've reached a point in our relationship where we are just too damn comfortable with each other." I growl at him, yanking my clothes from his hands. I slip my t shirt over my head and try to control the stray statics with fumbling phalanges.

"Face it, B," Edward comes out of flicking nowhere, as usual, smacking me on my cotton undied-booty. He grabs a handful and I swat him away, blushing a fire like no other.

_Yeah. We are _definitely _too damn close._

"You have an ass the size of Pluto and titties you need a nipple-detector to find. You're disproportionate, but you're a doll. Embrace it, sweetheart." He walks to Jasper, holding out a rose, his way of apologizing for being...Edward. Jasper tries to hide his grin as he snatches the perfect-petal-pretty rose.

"Exactly. We just need something to fit over your ass and a bra to enhance your almost breasts. Kay?" Jasper grabs my arm and hauls me back into the dressing room. I feel like blowing the rape whistle my father gave me, but that's probably offensive.

* * *

It's just a few minutes before the kids of Forks High are supposed come tumbling through the front door of Edwards semi-mansion and I am freaking the fuck out. Like, for seriously, I'm freaking the FUCK out.

Jasper finally found me the perfect outfit. His words, not mine – I'd never call this monstrosity perfect. Or even acceptable. My poor Gramma is far past rolling in her grave. She's straight up banging on the coffin, threatening me to take this slut-fit off before she pulls me out of the house by my ear.

I know it.

That sadistic bastard shoved me into too-damn-tight white lace boy shorts and a matching push up bra, to enhance my not-even-big-enough-to-call-titties. The bra barely helps, but it hurts like a bitch and they say beauty is pain, right? So I must be fucking gorgeous right about now.

The only thing covering the wedgie inducing panties is a very short, very tight, very berry slutty, high-waist skirt. The black and white stripes are vertical. Apparently that is going to 'balance me out some.' My shoes are acceptable, I guess. They're black ankle boots with a chunky heel so I wont fall on my ass. They have pointless cuffs around the ankles, that Edward says gives me extra SPs – style points. Ridiculous, if you ask me.

We couldn't find a suitable shirt in the whole mall so I'm currently stuffed into Edwards 12 year old sister, Vicki's white long sleeved stretch shirt that stops just below my rib cage. I've never felt so exposed in my life. I should be punished for this.

I look like a whore.

The end touches are red and black feather earrings, a black snake ring that wraps around my middle finger, and my hair put in a messy ponytail held by one of Vicki's ugly red ribbons. Jas says I don't need makeup, just hemorrhoid cream – for my eyes, he assures me.

Insulting, yes.

Miracle working, fuck yes.

"You look ready to fuck," Edward smiles and winks at me. I slap him. Hard. I've had enough crap for one day and the dickhead deserved it. He's not even fazed as he walks over to his door and yells down the stairs to his parents and sister to, "Please just leave already! Please! People are gonna be here soon, dammit! You promised!"

"Alright, Alright," Esme laughs. I wrap up in Edward's blue pullover and join Jedward out on the balcony of the stairs to say goodbye. Vicki is pissed as usual and flips us all the bird before Esme scoops her up and runs her giggling daughter to the car.

Carlisle is the last to leave, and before he does, he turns to us and gives us the peace sign, his eyes red with his home grown hey-man-God-planted-it-for-us-to-enjoy weed. The Cullen Elders are a bunch of fucking dippy hippies, free love, one love and I love them for it. They're so free and accepting and don't care what people think about that.

My dad hates them. My mom spends almost as much time here as I do. Or she used to. Before she met her young new friend, Phyllis.

Carlisle keeps the door open as he leaves, hopping into the passenger seat of Esme's uglier than beautiful VW.

I start to panic as soon as I hear the motor of an obnoxious high school car pulling into the driveway.

"Be cool, B," Edward warns me as the first guest arrives. And he does so after the second, third, fourth, fifth, tenth, thirtieth, I've lost count.

I'm feeling claustrophobic.

* * *

"_Lesbian existence compromises both the breaking of a taboo and the rejection of a compulsory way of life. It is also a direct or indirect attack on the male right of access to women. ~Adrienne Rich._

* * *

I feel like my tummy is going to lurch into my throat, then backtrack and fall out of my ass. She's right there. Right. Fucking. There. In the same house as me. The same stifling hot room.

_Maybe _I'm_ just hot..._

Oh, God, she's reached the maximum of ridiculously-delicious... hot and, God...I want to run across the room and take her into my arms and show her what love looks like, feels like, acts like. But I can't. She is surrounded by half the people at the party. She is wrapped up in Tyler Crowley's super obviously steroid arms. Not to mention the fact that I am super glued to the motherfucking floor – struck stupid and dumb in awe and want.

My mind registers only_ Alice. _My eyes look upon only _Alice. _My thoughts are only _Alice. _My motherfucking sinful heart is stutter-beating only _Alice...Alice...Alice. A-A-A-Alice. _I can feel my veins pulsing with every beat. I can feel my fingertips burning and tingling and twitching with every intake of breath. I think I might be having an Alice induced seizure. And it's the most painful pleasure I've ever experienced to the date. I don't know if I want it to stop or increase in power and knock me out of my star-struck-stuck-in-tar shoes.

I take my eyes off of Everything-Anyone-Will-Ever-Wish-To-Be to search the eyes of all the party goers, are they seeing what I am feeling? I see some of them looking my way – they notice me. I force my legs to stumble, I trip my way back until my back hits the wall.

I'm a wallflower. I'm blending in with the scenery..._stop seeing me_! It's be a whole lot easier if the walls weren't covered in all these damn murals.

This whole thing – this ridiculous party – is useless. The only person I want to see me is too busy to pay me mind. But everyone else...They fucking see me and they wont stop looking. And I know what they're all thinking.

They're thinking:

_'Who's that?'_

_'Who let a loser crash the party?'_

_'She doesn't belong here!'_

_''She doesn't BELONG!'_

They see me. They see through me. I have to leave.

I look around once more, trying to find my Jedward, but the room is too sardine-can packed. I'm sandwiched between a wall and grinding bodies. I'm suffocating. I'm gonna die here. I have to leave. I force my way through if-you-can-even-call-it-dancing-might-as-well-cut-to-the-chase-they're-all-fucking-with-clothes-on bodies and beeline for the front door. I'll just have to call Jas and Edward later and let them know I had to disperse.

I have to leave! These people are seeing me for who I am and they don't like it. They can tell what I am. The sirens are going off. I can feel it.

_I have to_-

"Hey, Girl." I stop with my hand on the doorknob of my Saving Grace, eyes wide and watching as _she she she _approaches me from the side. She's smiling shyly, unsure, watching me like I am a small doe-deer, ready to scamper at the first sign of a threat. Which I guess I kind of am...

She's acknowledging me. _She-her-she-the ONE _is looking me in my eyes – right into the windows to my fucking soul and I can't look away. She _notices_ me. The air is getting thick. All sound other than mine and Alice's breathing, ceases. All bodies become a blur behind the beautiful Angelic-Alice figure standing just a few terrible inches next to me.

I have to cross my arms over my chest to keep from reaching out and pulling Picture Perfection into my greedy arms.

"The party has barely even started yet and you're already leaving?" she asks, tilting her head to the side, smiling a little lighter-hearted-than-before at me.

_Heat. Rush of heat. _She's talking to me again. This time she wants an answer. How do I answer? How do I speak? Only in my dreams has she ever spoken to me. And even in my dreams I'm a mute. I can't talk to her...but...I'll try...?

"Humm, I..I...need air...so hot." I wipe the sweat from my brow and decide to stop talking before I accidentally let it slip that she is the source of so-hot heat running in, over, and around my body.

"It is a bit hot," she sighs, fanning her face with her so-fucking-small-and-pretty hand. A large pink diamond ring on her pointing finger catches my eyes and I smile slightly. It's an epic piece of body decoration and I can't help but think about how she would look. Stripped of her dress. Left in nothing but her black booties and pink jewelry...

_Don't think about that._

_Bad Bella._

I see Alice now fanning her hand in front of my face, giving me the 'Are you stupid' look. My cheeks light on fire 'cause I am so fucking stupid, I'm ruining everything, and come back to reality. "I'm sorry?"

"S'okay," she giggles. _That_ sound. That _sound_. "I just asked if you'd like some company. I could use the fresh air." She looks over her shoulder and I follow her eyes. I see an incoming Tyler Crowley, smiling at Alice and something in me, deep down in my belly – and maybe somewhere else – snaps. Before thinking too much about it I grab her wrist and have the front door open with one violent jerk of my arm.

"I'd love some company!" I say hastily, hauling both our asses out that door so fast it probably looked like we had just disappeared into thin air. I make sure I close the door before I turn back to _The-Her._

"Hey." I wave oh-so stupidly. I sour-smile and tuck my arm behind my back, playing with the tips of my long hair.

"Hi," she giggles and God I wish she'd stop it stop it stop it! That sound does things to me that I can't...I just CAN'T. Thankfully, she knocks the cuteness the fuck off and walks over to the railing, looking out into the could-be-would-be-beautiful-if-just-a-little-effort-went-into-it woods. I follow, always two steps behind, because what else can I do?

It's silent – comfortably so – as we stand on the porch, looking over the side at the large-kinda-scary expanse of Forks forest. Then, she speaks. Her voice is saying things to me again, and I just can't seem to keep up. Every time she says something, I lose my shit _because**she**is**talking**to**ME**_.

"I'm sorry," I try to laugh and fail. I cackle. I cackle at the most beautiful thing in the world. I fucking cackle. _**Fuck**_. "Could you repeat that?" I look at her and she is smiling so maybe I am not scaring her off with my...me-ness.

"I've never seen you before, I don't think. I thought I knew everybody in little old Forks. Did you just move here or something?"

I _know_ that I already _knew_ that everyone in school didn't-doesn't-never will _know_ me, but hearing her say it out loud hurts and stings and ouches a bit in the tender heart area. Just because it is her. But I suck it up and force a smile – not hard when you're looking into the eyes of an Angel.

"I've always lived here. Well, as long as I can remember, at least. We actually go to school together. You probably know my dad, Chief Swan?"

Shock crosses her face – Her baby blues widen, her plump pouter falls into the perfect shape of an 'O' and naughty things enter my icky mind. "Oh...," she sighs sadly. "now I feel bad."

"Don't, I like to stick to the shadows," I clear up quickly. The look of despair on her face makes me ache. "I only came here tonight because Jasper and Edward forced me."

_I could really use a drink right about now..._

"Oh, you're friends with Jedward?" she giggle-snorts, her distress melting away right before my eyes – like the last little drippity drops of a strawberry Popsicle in the summer sun. She turns around, throws her hands behind her and grabs the porch railing, lifting her tiny body up onto it in one swift graceful move. "I like them. I think they're cute together."

She swings her legs, back and forth, back and forth. Her ridiculous black multi-buckle booties slipping off her tiny feet just a little bit.

I'm looking at her legs, how can I not, but I hear her words this time. I register them and I see my in. so I fucking take it. Sue me.

"They're my best friends," I tell her, hoping that maybe if she knows how close we are, she'll like me too. We're kind of a package deal. Buy two, get the third one free. "We've been best friends for, like, ever."

"That's cool," she smiles and nods. She doesn't look too impressed by my namedropping. "I'm Alice, by the way." _Duh._ "What's your name?" _You care? She cares? Of course she cares. She's Alice. If there is a more caring being, it is God himself._

"I know who you are," I tell her deliberately. Of course I know who you are. Who doesn't? "I'm Bella." _Wanna be be my boo?_

"That's a pretty name, _Bella_," she almost purrs. Maybe I am hearing things, or seeing things the way I want to see them, because there is no way Alice Hale is flirting with _me. _"Kinda rolls off the tongue," she giggles – again. I want to grab her, shake her, and beg her STOP it. Every time she giggles, I cant help but imagine her making that same sound as I trail my tongue over her...her clit.

_It's probably pretty...too pretty to be touched by someone as unworthy as me._

"You don't talk much, do ya?" she asks after – probably a long awkward silence on my part. Time has no meaning to me now. It could stop for all I care. I'm talking to the fucking Alice.

"I guess not..." People usually don't notice. It's weird having it pointed out.

"That's okay," she says, her eyes boring into my own, sinking me in deeper and deeper and deeper than ever before. She doesn't know what she does to me, but she needs to stop before I pounce on her. This kind of torture is exceptional. "I talk too much. We can balance each other out."

I whole-heartedly agree, sunshine.

I just smile and nod my head, taking a hesitant step toward the railing where she is perched. After just a moment of thinking about it, I hop up – less graceful than a toddler on ice – and sit my ass right next to hers.

So close.

So motherfucking close I can feel the heat radiating from the knits on her tight gray sweater dress that clings in all the right places and falls off her shoulders, her delicate shoulders. And My-God-help-me I find shoulders sexy. It's a pretty kind of torture. I've never felt more relaxed and on edge in my life. If only I could reach out and touch her, wrap my arm around her waist, pull her into my side, and kiss her until not even I can tell where her lips begin and mine end.

She sighs and trails her hands over her knees, to her thighs, and back again again again and again. My eyes are moving with them and my hands are having a twitching fit. It's quiet. I don't say anything. I just sit and wait for her to speak.

After more minutes than I can possibly be expected to stand, I look away from her hands on her legs and into her eyes that are smiling at me. I know I'm caught, but I don't think I'm in trouble. I bite my lip and will her to speak. She doesn't. She doesn't get the chance.

The front door slams open, both our heads turn to look at the intruder like we just got caught with our naughty hands deep inside the cookie jar. I know why I'm feeling guilty, but why is Alice?

"Ally Cat! Baby, where you been?" That giant gorilla-man-thing is holding a bottle of something he isn't of legal age to touch and is quickly bounding and forcing his way into our tightly sealed bubble, popping it and I've never been so pissed in my life.

"Oh, hey, Ty," Alice smiles tightly and my heart feels sensational. She doesn't want to talk to him. She wants to talk to me. "I've just been out here with Bella."

"Who?" He finally sees me sitting nearly on top of Alice and he smiles...at me? "Oh, hey. You new to Forks?"

"No."

That's all I have to say to him. He doesn't know it, but he's my enemy. He's on my shit list, right after Michael Newton and my father. I jump down from the railing and nearly face plant, only to be caught in the arms of the motherfucker trying to get into the pants of my... Her. I quickly brush him off. "Gotta go find Jasper," I mumble and chase ass out of there and back into the suffocating house.

She doesn't call me back. I don't expect her to, but I wish she would.

* * *

**I didn't know that this story would receive such attention so quickly. So I didn't have a second chapter ready. I know where this story is going, but I'm writing this shit as I go along.**

**Peace and Love**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

"Oh, hey, Ty," Alice smiles tightly and my heart feel sensational. She doesn't want to talk to him. She wants to talk to me. "I've just been out here with Bella."

"Who?" He finally sees me sitting nearly on top of Alice and he smiles...at me? "Oh, hey. You new to Forks?"

"No."

That's all I have to say to him. He doesn't know it, but he's my enemy. He's on my shit list, right after Michael Newton and my father. I jump down from the railing and nearly face plant, only to be caught in the arms of the motherfucker trying to get into the pants of my... Her. I quickly brush him off. "Gotta go find Jasper," I mumble and chase ass out of there and back into the suffocating house.

She doesn't call me back. I don't expect her to, but I wish she would.

* * *

"_Best friends: the only ones you can only be mad at for so long because you have important things to tell them." ~Author Sorry-I-Don't-Really-Freaking-Know..._

* * *

Fucking Tyler Crowley. He'll get his, I'll make sure of it.

_Motherfucker._

I was having the most earth shattering moment – beautiful, alive, moving – with the object of my desires. The good, the bad, and the blow-the-roof-off-the-R, desires. She was finally seeing me, acknowledging me, _**talking**_ to _**me**_ and _he_ ruined it.

_He he he HE! _I fucking hate _him. _I'd fucking drive a stake through his heart if I wasn't such a committed humanitarian. But if I were to stop one day and decide to slay the pitiful human race, he'd better r-u-n, run. Consider the shit list updated.

Tyler Crowley = #1

I push past sweaty teenage bodies, searching for Edward or Jasper, or Jedward – fucking-flick-a-fuck if I give a common care which right now. I need to talk to at least one of them about what just went down. I don't even know if I will be boasting about my uber-coolness in the presence of Perfect Alice or raging about That-Stupid-Stack-Of-Dimes. Either way, I need to talk about it.

I don't see either of them in the kitchen where the stoners are sitting on the counters, laughing like hyenas and helping themselves to Esme's 'special brownies.'

I don't see them in the living room where the cock jocks and squeal leaders are playing beer pong.

I don't see them on the back porch where the regulars are sipping and stripping and sucking and fucking.

So that leaves one area of the house unchecked.

I clomp my thick heeled shoes up the stairs, silently praying under my breath to _"Please don't fall. Please!" _I don't have time for it.

I stop in front of Edward's closed and sealed-tight locked door. I tap lightly at first – no answer. I tap a little harder – nothing, but I can hear them. They're talking a little too loudly. I know I am not interrupting anything sexually dis-gross-ting. Just another inappropriately timed fight between the two bickering drama queens. I pound the palm of my hand on the door with enough force to make the ends give a little and the door push through slightly.

Think, Incredible Hulk. That's what Alice does to me.

"The fuck!" Edward slams the door open, glaring at me. "We're not home right now. Kindly leave your name and number after the beep and we'll get back to you ASA-fucking-P," he bites sarcastically, about to close the door in my face.

"I have something important to talk to you about," I plead, grabbing the doorknob and pushing with the side of my body with every bit of strength that I have. I have two motherfucking friends and I need at least one of them right now. I will not be turned away.

"I'm fucking Bus-!"

"I talked to Alice!" I yell over him and the music. I never yell. It felt good. And now I'm full of light-headedness. I'm high on yelling, so he better fucking bend to my will.

"You...you did?" He's dumbfounded and I cannot exactly blame him. I'm not really the most outgoing, going-after-what-I-want type of person. I nod my head emphatically.

_Yes, yes, yes yes yes YES, I fucking did and I need to talk about it!_

"Fucking A! Get in here, Little B!" He pulls me in by my arm, literally flinging my slight body right into a grinning Jasper. Apparently the fight wasn't too great if my news is so top shot priority.

Edward closes the door quickly, locking it back up. He jumps onto the bed, patting it with his hand. "Come on, come on. Come. On! Tell me you felt her up!"

"Not with my hands," I giggle. I fill them in on the little moment we had – Alice's hands, so motherfucking seductive as they rubbed up and down, up and down, up and down, rinse and fucking repeat – that was so fucking rudely interrupted by that jackass.

"It was amazing. Motherfucking spectacular. Her voice is even sweeter when it's talking to me." I sigh and lay back, almost unable to stop myself from being the total teen cliché, complete with the kicking of the legs and pig squealing. "I'm in loveless love, man," I confess, though I am sure they are totally aware of this already.

"Why loveless?" Jasper asks, barely able to contain his own excitement at this milestone in my 'life'.

"I think I love her... No, I _know_ I love her, but she doesn't know me. I can't fall completely until I have her...ya know?"

"Totally." Edward grabs my hand, smiling wild and proud. "You need to talk to her again. It really seems like you may actually having a fighting chance and that's not something you can take lightly B. I really want this for you." I smile at him because for once he is being the sweet guy I know he is instead of the dipshit he fronts to be.

Noticing his faux pas, he quickly smirks out, "Anyway, the whole 'third wheel' thing isn't cute anymore."

I throw a less than enthusiastic fist at his arm and glare. "I'm still a third wheel. We haven't exactly confessed our undying love and devotion yet," I joke, inside hoping it holds some truth.

"If anything, Edward is the third wheel," Jasper adds completely un-jokingly and I grin at him, my best of all bests.

"Whatever," Ed sighs, pulling a large bottle of some form of vodka from under his bed. "Let's have our own little congratulatory party for Bella and growling some balls."

"I think you mean ovaries," I laugh, grabbing the bottle from his hands and popping it open.

* * *

"_Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~Ernest Hemingway_

* * *

_The sharpest Live_ by _My Chemical Romance_ blares through the speakers, sending vicious vibrations through my body as I dance-dry hump my little heart out with my my buddies, one eye always on her. Always.

Alice is dancing with her friends, thankfully no Tyler in sight. She's smiling high and loud with a bottle of something-or-other in her hand. She's drunk, it's obvious, but she's precious and classy in her moves and sway.

She's got Alice Swag.

Watching her dance is even better than watching her eat, talk, laugh...maybe one day I'll get to watch her sleep, then I can compare it some more?

Okay, I've surpassed stalker territory now. I'm full on fucking creepy, but when it comes to Alice I find it difficult to be anything but. She makes me hazy and crazy with want and need. I'm an Alice addict and I have abso-fucking-lutely no foreseeable recovery.

Not that I even want one. I actually like loving her. I just wish she would give me the chance to show her what I can do to make her the happiest, most loved person on the face of the earth. I can do it. I can be that for her. I can be everything she needs – even if I have to buy a fucking sparkly pink strap-on and fuck her to the moon with it.

_Maybe that is the vodka and tequila shots talking...because...eww._ But fuck-it if I wouldn't if she asked me. I'm putty in her hands and she doesn't even know it.

I can be everything for her. I just need a chance.

Alice glances at me for the fiftieth time in an hour and I know she wants to talk to me again. Maybe she feels this connection as well. Maybe I am not alone in this loveless love? She doesn't love me, she doesn't even know me, but she has to feel it. It's almost like there's a rope around both our waists, slowly pulling us together. The rope is pulled so tight, the only place to go is together.

"I'm gonna talk to her," liquid courage seeps from my mouth. Jedward smiles and gives me an encouraging push and thumbs up.

I can do this.

She's a person, like me.

She may be the most perfect piece of perfection, but she is still just a person. I can talk to her. It isn't against the law. Though, it probably should be. I make my way over to her – one foot in front of the other – left, right. Left, right. Left. Right. Left right left rightleftrightleft_right_.

"Hey, Bella," Alice greets me with the greeting of enthusiasm and I smile in high spirits because she wants me near her.

"Hey." I wave to her _and_ her friends, but only out of politeness. My eyes are for one person. "Alice, you wanna...uh...dance...with me?" I hate the unsure tremor in my voice. I want to be confident and deserving, but the eyes on me are making me feel uneasy. I know they'll think it a friendly suggestion, but I think Alice knows it is something more.

Her sweet blues tell me she knows I am not looking to be just a friend. Her sweet blues and cherry smile tell me she likes my views. "Of course." She grabs my hand, trying to pull me into her little circle of friends, but I don't want that. I want her. All to myself. I use all my strength to reel her body into my own, away from her hoard of sheep.

The wannabe's look pissed. I can't care. She's in my grasp and I wont let her go. Not now.

I spin her away to the corner of the room, into the wall. I make her a wallflower, with me. I wrap my arms around her waist, a light hold – for now, and she overlaps her arms on mine and I can't help but think this is how it should always be.

Alice smiles up at me with a twinkle, twinkle little star-shine in her eyes. "My, my, Bella. You surprise me."

"Is that bad?" I have to ask.

"It's so bad," she grins, moving her hands up my arms, gripping my shoulders tightly. She lifts onto her tippy toes until our faces are centimeters away. "Bad is good," she whispers, twitching her nose like something from Bewitched.

It's fitting. I'm sure as hell bewitched. I've been under the Alice Spell for so long now.

I hold her tighter. "You're okay, then?"

_You like me touching you? _I really want to ask, but my liquid courage only spreads so thick.

"Yes. I feel way okay," she giggles. She's drunk. She's touching me, giggling, flirting, and she's drunk.

I can be the good guy and stop things before they progress to something she may regret, or I can be the bad guy and keep things rolling into the direction I want, deal with the ramifications later.

Who the fuck am I kidding? Alice is the Saint, not me. I'm desperate. I'm selfish, I'm undeserving, and I'm going to take advantage because I may very well un-spontaneously combust into flicks of red needy flames if I don't _**have her.**_

"Me, too." Honesty is the best policy. I'm not deceiving. I'm only slightly, a little bit, kind of, just a smidgen, taking advantage of her her slight inebriation. I mean, she liked me before she was drunk. Right? So why wouldn't she like me now? Maybe now she is just letting the alcohol do the talking she couldn't when she was sober?

_Right? _

Right.

_Right? _

Right!

I mean, I'd sure like to think so...

Her eyes and mine couldn't seem to find a target. Her eyes would look into mine, mine would look at her lips, hers would look at my neck, mine would look into her eyes – over and over, but our eyes never really connected. It was a game of cat and mouse at this point.

I snicker lowly, trying to hold it in but simply can't.

"Are you laughing at me?" She sends a mock-glare my way and I can't help but throw my head back and let out the most vicious of laughs. This moment – it's surreal. It's everything I've ever dreamed, and I can't even think clearly, speak witty, or look into her eyes.

"I could never," I say lowly. "I'm just kind of in awe," I admit. It isn't until the word is out that I kind of regret it.

_Was that too much of a powerful word?_

_Should I have kept it to myself?_

_Will it scare her away?_

_Too fast, too soon?_

I hold my breath as Alice parts her full lips, opening her mouth to speak, but doesn't get the chance. Again. Again.

Again, we are interrupted. I wont take this as a sign, dammit.

"Ally!"

Jessica Stanley.

Fuck.

Fuck my life.

Alice pulls away from me quickly and turns away to smile at Jessica fucking Stanley. She's a 5'2" 16 year old pretty faced girl with a body of perfection, but she's all makeup and hairspray and lies.

"Girlfriend! Where you been hiding?" She's one of the squeal leaders. Her voice is penetrating. I take an involuntary step back, accidentally putting space between myself and Love.

"I've just been hanging with my new friend." Alice turns to me, smiling wide and high and her sparkling white teeth pull me close. Back where I need to be. "Jessica, this is Bella. Bella, Jessica." She waves her hands between the two of us. I wave, un-enthused. Jessica eyes me up and down, distaste evident in her jaw set.

"It's nice to meet you," she smiles in a way that makes me believe the complete opposite is true. "Ally!" Quickly disregarding me, she turns back to My Reason. "Come do some shots with us." She starts pulling Life away from me, and I grab it's hand before it can get too far away. Pretty blue eyes turn to me, curious, excited, anxious, pleading.

I don't feel like using Alice as the rope in a game of tug-if-war.

I lean in close and give her an offer I know she cannot refuse. "How would you like to see Edwards room?" I'm already pulling her toward the stairs. I wont be taking no for an answer. Not tonight. Jessica Stanley, Tyler Crowley, and all the rest of the Alice Squad can kiss my A-S-S.

Tonight, she is mine. I have Love in my hands, and I am much too selfish a creature to let it worm its way out of my grasp.

"Oh, my God! Yes!" Her excitement is contagious. "I will totally catch up with you later, Jessie." She takes the lead and I turn my head a fraction of an inch in time to catch a seething Jessica at the bottom of the stairs, her hands on her hips, her eyes boring holes into my ass.

She can kiss it for all I care.

Alice makes her pretty giggling sound as she runs up the stairs, dragging a very, very happy me behind her. I trip a lot, but I can't care. Her hand is in mine and everything feels right and just in the world.

_**Finally**._

We reach the balcony of the stairs and she spins to look into my grinning eyes. "He wont care, will he?" she excitement-chirps, barely able to stop bouncing and smiling.

I smile back because, how can I not? "Shouldn't matter. He's never asked my permission." I shrug.

It's true. While I remain a completely untouched virgin, my bed has seen some scary days. The Jedward Monster literally has no shame, no morals, and no care when it's feeling humpy.

"Follow me," I whisper. I don't know why. Everyone else is downstairs being loud, obnoxious, and beer-buzzing. There is no one in sight. She's all mine. No one to interrupt me this time.

I picture myself with a handlebar mustache, twirling it in my fingers while laughing manically. _I've got her now. She's mine, all mine._

I lead her through the, thankfully not locked, chipped wooden door with a plate warning us that _'_**ALL TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT. ALL SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN.' **

"This," I gesture with wide open arms once we are securely in the room – door shut and locked. "is Edward's dungeon." I plop down onto the bed gracelessly, but happy as all Heaven. Leaning up on my elbows, I watch her.

Her icy-yet-somehow-baby blues are wide, wondering, and wandering as she takes in – what I can only assume is – the forbidden room of a homosexual.

Her eyes roam every inch of the room. From the six shelves dedicated to Star Wars collectables by the bathroom door to the four others full of never opened comics. From the book shelf filled to the brim with everything from Dr. Seuss's greatest to Bram Stoker. Black and blue silk bedspread, rainbow gum stains embedded in the carpet. The hole in the wall from two years ago when Edward got a little too serious in a play fight with his father, smaller holes from three bored-out-of-their-minds preteens with pencils... She took everything in with fascination and trepidation.

I studied her every move, facial change, everything. Nothing about her was judgey or appalled. Not even when I saw her eye catch the gay-bi porn sticking out from under Edward's pillow. I, on the other hand, hastily scoot backward to the top of the bed and tuck it safely back in place. I turn back to Alice with tomato cheeks, smiling sheepishly for my friends gross indiscretion.

"He's a bit of a perv," I explain, choking on my own voice, thickened in my throat.

"Oh, it's nothing compared to my own little collection." She winks slyly. I heat up, my face ripe. I stutter, trying to come up with some kind of throwback...nothing. I'm stumped. I just grimace a smile at her.

Alice laughs it off. She runs and jumps onto the bed next to me, grabbing my arm and pulling me down to lay next to her. I'm on fire. Her hands are on me willingly, caressing my arm and side and I am on burning fire. I'm burning alive. Alice smiles next to me, her own cheeks flaming.

"So, you've got me all alone," she snickers. "What, might I ask, are you planning to do with me, Miss Bella?" Her hand on my arm moves up up up to my shoulder, my neck. She's touching my neck. _Holy..._

"Uhm," Think cool. Think witty. Think, dammit! "I, uh, I...you're so great," I stutter-confess stupidly, but I'm not embarrassed. She's looking at me like I'm... Like I am SOMETHING.

_God, I like it._

"You're really pretty," she says, grabbing a lock of my hair and twirling it around her fingers. The fire is all consuming. "I like your face and your eyes and your neck." She runs her other hand from the side of my neck, to my throat. I swallow loud and proud, and fuck she's touching me. She coming onto me.

She's coming onto me?

Alice is coming onto _me_?

Is this real?

I finally move my paralyzed body so I am laying on my side facing her perfection with my less-than. I carefully, hesitantly touch her wavy hips with just the tips of my fingers. I'm scared if I touch her too hard, she'll crumble into nothing and I'll wake up from this dreamland where I finally get what I want.

"Go ahead," she encourages, her breath fanning over my aura, softening it, making it shine. "You can touch me. I want you to touch me." Maybe I am hearing things, but her desperation is lust-laced and I am shit-faced.

I touch her with my full on hand, pressing just slightly harder and she doesn't crumble and she doesn't disappear. She's still here. Right next to me, she's here – living, breathing, fleshy, scented, and with me. Wanting me.

_But is she really?_ I have to be skeptical because this is good. Good things don't usually happen to me. Not like this. Not with this much ferocity and greatness.

"Alice...I...h-how..." I stumble and trip over my words, not really sure what it is I am trying to ask her. I'm in this moment and the last thing I want to do is ruin it, but I have to make sure this is really really really real. "Is this, like, a real thing, Alice?" I take a deep breath at her quirked brow.

"Is this because you are drunk?"

I thought I could do it, but I can't. I want this to be real. But if this is just because she is drunk and _experimenting_, then I don't want it. Not like that.

I really fucked myself over with my love-full heart.

Alice chuckles lowly and pulls her hands away from me. Pushing my hands off and away from her, she sits up shakily-unsteady-unsober. "_You're_ drunk." She shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. She looks...sad. Misplaced, out of place, and down and out. "This is probably a bad idea, actually. Very, very bad."

"It's not," I try to sound sure, but the quiver in my voice is anything but. "I'm not that drunk, I'm just...this isn't a bad idea... Is it?"

_Please don't walk away now._

_Why the ever-living FUCK did I have to open my mouth when things were going so fucking good? Fuck! Fuck. Fuck. **FUCK!**_

"It is. This isn't like me. It's the booze, for sure." The way she is speaking makes me think she is more about convincing herself than me. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "But I like you, Bella. I really, truly like you."

_In what way?_

"But this isn't right," she sighs, smiling fondly and sadly at the same time. "Will you still be my friend?"

I sit up and look anywhere but at her. I ruined it with my mouth. She wanted me to touch her, then I got her thinking, and now I am fucked, only not literally.

_**Fuck. **_

_I'm helpless. _I may as well have my ovaries confiscated.

"I'll be your friend, Alice." _And pine after you like a love-sick, sick-of-love fool-stupidly-in-love. Forever._

"Good. I'd like that a lot." She pulls me up and forces a I'm-really-not-finding-anything-funny-but-things-just-got-really-intense-and-awkward laugh. "I can't believe we almost did..._that_!" Her voice is incredulous and I wont lie. I'm dying inside.

"I guess boozing and teenage girls really don't mix well, huh?" She's looking to me to give her what she needs. She needs me to tell her that this was all just a momentary lapse in judment. We're two silly drunk girls who got a little to eager.

I can't do that.

"Mmm." I wont tell her she's killing me.

"Next time we drink together, let's make sure we have some guys on our arms to help with the horniness," she giggles as she puts the last nail in my coffin.

We sit for only a moment more before Alice decides it's time to head back to the party. She may have just single-handedly killed my soul, but she holds my hands as we make our way down the stairs. But something isn't right. There aren't as many people and the ones that are still here are fucking buzzing bodies.

They're freaking the fuck out, running from one end of the house to the other.

"Bella!" Edward grabs my arm and pulls me and Alice back up the stairs. "I've been searching for you everywhere!" He leads us back into his room.

"What's going on?" I really don't need this right now.

"Your fucking dad just arrested half the party. Including my fucking boyfriend."

_Oh... fuck._

* * *

**Alice and Bella are a bit all over the place. But that, my friends, is love. It's sloppy and slippery and you have to hold on tight to keep it in your grasps. A lot of you are wondering why Bella loves Alice so much without even knowing her and my reasoning is, love has no reason. It doesn't need one. When you know, you know.**

**Thanks for reading this far.**

**Peace and Love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**WARNING: Abuse.**

**A/n: So this chapter ended up being a bit too long and I had to cut it into three parts. All finished and ready for posting. And I will, quickly. Promise.**

**A/n2: To Lexi: I don't think you were being rude at all, just terribly blunt, which I don't mind. I love that you like my story so much and NO I do not withhold chapters just for more reviews. While I LOVE seeing so many reviews in my inbox I believe in quality over quantity and I get plenty of quality reviews. I'm sorry I take so long to post each chapter but I have two little girls who demand my attention at all times.**

**Anyhoo, please read and enjoy.**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

_We sit for only a moment more before Alice decides it's time to head back to the party. She may have just single-handedly killed my soul, but she holds my hands as we make our way down the stairs. But something isn't right. There aren't as many people and the ones that are still here are fucking buzzing bodies._

_They're freaking the fuck out, running from one end of the house to the other. _

"_Bella!" Edward grabs my arm and pulls me and Alice back up the stairs. I've been searching for you everywhere!" He leads us back into his room. _

"_What's going on?" I really don't need this right now._

"_Your fucking dad just arrested half the party. Including my fucking boyfriend."_

_**Oh... fuck.**_

* * *

_"Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice." ~Woodrow T. Wilson_

* * *

"Your dad?" Alice asks when Edward closes the door behind us, locking it, sealing us in and everyone out. Like it would help. If Dad wants in, he'll get in.

"Yeah. Her fucking father," Edward growls, glaring holes into my face.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God." Alice paces the wall, leaning into it for support with every pass. "My dad is going to take away my Miata." She turns to me with tears in her eyes and I feel a tug at my heart. I never want her to be upset. "My Miata!" Even for something so stupid.

"Shut the fuck up about your car," Edward suddenly yells, his voice is nothing but a tear in his throat. He knocks his Star Wars action figures off the shelf. "My boyfriend just got arrested you selfish bitch!"

Alice looks down, ashamed. It takes all I have to keep my fists at my sides and not hurl them at his face for speaking to her like that. He may be my best friend, but she is my everything. She just doesn't know it yet.

"Fuck, Edward!" I yell taking a step in his direction. I know what I am saying is wrong before it even comes out but I am helpless to stop the word-vomit from spewing when I am so overwhelmed. "You should have made sure no one was drinking out in the open like that!"

Edward stops the destruction of his collectibles to stare daggers into my heart. I look away from his face and down to my hands. I shouldn't have said that, I know. Anger is an ugly bitch.

"Excuse me?" He's so calm-before-the-storm, I can feel it in the hair standing on end on the back of my neck. "Oh, hell no. Don't you dare try to blame this on me! It's _your_ dad, Bella. And you're the idiot who told him about the fucking party. Fuck you!"

He's seething in a way I've never seen and the tears are immediate in my eyes. We don't turn against each other. We just don't.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Edward. I'm just scared." _And frustrated._ "You know how my dad is. He's gonna..." I can't stop the sob from spurring forth anymore than I can stop feeling Alice's presence in the room like a fucking extension of my own body. I look over to her and she's looking back at me with imploring eyes.

"You know what he'll do," I whisper to Edward, taking my eyes off my everything.

The softening of his features is immediate and he sighs a sigh full of resolved sorrow. He knows. He knows everything about my life. Maybe not the extent of my fathers brutal abusiveness, but he knows my life isn't sunshine and daisies. I can see it in his dropped shoulders and pinched brows. He knows I'm fucked.

I shrug my shoulders at him and frown a down so deep I can feel it in my toes. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see Alice. She's walking to me slowly. She takes my clenched fist in her hand and smooths her baby-softness over it, soothing me only slightly. Her touch is marvelous.

"What would he do?"

As if I can tell her? I wish she could know everything about me. Everything. I want her to know me so well, but I can't let her know this. I feel the apple-blush on my cheeks and force a laugh. I look at her. "He'll ground me. He'll take away my computer. I...I can't live without my computer." I force another laugh and she smiles back.

"I know how you feel," she whispers, peeking at Edward. I can see she is afraid of hitting his nerve button again. She leans in close and the smell of cherries and vodka calms me, even as I hear my father downstairs gathering up screaming high schoolers.

"My dad is going to take away everything I love. My freaking Miata! I can't be without my Miata, Bella." She's whisper-yelling now. She's panicking and I want to make it better. "We have to get the frick outta here. Now!" She yanks on my arm like it's her saving grace. I want to be her saving grace. I just don't know how.

Our attention is pulled away from each other when the sounds of footsteps climbing the stairs in a hurry sounds though the now quiet house. The steps stop outside the door and I swear, _I swear_ I can hear my fathers breathing.

It only takes a second for me to be proven right. "Edward. Get your ass out here right now, boy! I know you're in there." My father. My dad. My fucking Chief of Police father is on the other side of the door, breathing something fierce. Alice looks to me in panic and I look to Edward, desperate for answers. For a way out.

"Don't make me break this damn door down." I can feel the heat of my fathers impatience on the other side of the thick door. It will take a few tries to get that door down, but I have no doubt that he most certainly _will._

Edward is already on the move. He's darting from window to window in his room, peering down. He closes blinds quickly until he comes to the window at the back of the house. He opens it as quietly as possible, but it still squeaks. We all three dart our eyes to the door. If they heard anything, they don't let on.

"Bella, this window. You can get out by climbing down the tree. But you better hold on for dear life, it's a hell of a drop to the ground."

"No one's out back?" I grab Alice by the arm and drag her with me to the window. I look down to the ground, so far from the window. It's a long drop, but the tree is close enough that it shouldn't be a problem.

"C'mon, Alice." I try to push her to go first. She doesn't budge. She stays firmly in place, biting a bloody hole into her lip she stands on her tiptoes and looks through the window, trying to see the ground. I can see the sweat forming over her skin like a blanket and the worry lines crease her brow.

She sighs. "I can't."

"Huh?" Is she in-fucking-sane? "C'mon, Alice. We really have to go." I grab her arm again, this time pulling her with all the strength in my body, but she just pulls back just as hard. I don't want my dad getting his hands on her but she just won't budge.

As if to demonstrate how much time we don't have, my father bangs his fists on the door, shaking the frame. "Just come the fuck out, boy! You have two damn seconds before this door is dust."

"Alice! Did you hear that? My dad is two seconds away from kicking the damn door down. Let's go!" I grab her again, pulling her into my body and bringing us both to the window. Freedom is literally a few feet away. A few bone-shattering feet, but that is what the damn tree is for.

Alice pushes my body off her and it's like a fucking game of tug-of-war. And she may be tiny, but I am losing. If I lose, we are all fucked. My dad is a relentless bastard.

"Bella, I had a lot to drink, I'm in skinny heels, and...and I'm freaking terrified of heights, okay! Please, you just go. I don't want you getting in any trouble. I'll just suffer through it."

I stare at her, really staring, and looking, and seeing. I see her now in a different light than before. She isn't some immortal girl I fell in love with. She's a girl with fears. It's kind of...eye opening, I guess. But her perfection doesn't lessen in my eyes. It only grows. I can protect her. I can be that for her and it gives me a sense of purpose I didn't have before. I can be there for her, if she'll let me.

Before I can tell her this, I am hauled off the ground by strong hands gripping my upper arms. I'm dragged like a rag doll to the window. I look up to see Edward glaring at me in warning.

"You need to go. Now." He looks at Alice, then leans in close to my face and I know he doesn't want her hearing whatever he needs to say. "If you get caught and that fucker puts his hands on you, I'll have murder added to my list of felonies." Nothing about his tone leaves any room for empty threats. He's completely, scarily, for real. I know he is. He's the brother I never had and he's protective of his family. He'll kill for me.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out!" He pushes me into the wall next to the window a little too roughly, but I barely notice. I am running too high on adrenalin.

I hitch up my skirt and throw one leg out. I find the thick, sturdy branch that reaches his bedroom and balance that leg on it before I turn back to Alice. She's crying and scared, watching the door as my dad pounds on it and grunts from the other side. She's afraid of him and I can't even stand it.

"Hey," I call her attention to me, ignoring Edward's glare of disapproval. "I'll go first, you can climb down right after me." I look at her with all the love and sincerity in my being. I hope she can see it. I hope she can feel it. "Trust me. I'd never let you fall, Alice."

_Never never never. Ever! _

She looks between me, the window, and the shaking door being relentlessly pounded on by my dad. She's scared of both, she's just got to decide which she is more afraid of.

Thankfully, the asshole speaks, making her decision that much easier."That's it! I'm busting this bitch down. You hear that, Edward? This door is coming down and you can join your butt buddy behind bars."

"Alice!"

She practically jumps on top of me when the first kick hits the door. He'll get through. No doubt. "I trust you, I trust you!"

_Sweet symphony._

I make it out onto the branch easily, determination guiding my movements. Once I am steady on the large branch, I hold my hand out to Alice and she takes it. She's trusting me with her life pretty much. Even in this mess of a moment, I can still find it in myself to rejoice with a sweet mental _Hallelujah_.

"Hurry it up, bitches," Edward hisses. If he could push us the rest of the way, he would. I know he would.

We make it to the trunk of the tree almost effortlessly, then climb down to the lowest branch. Alice's hand is holding onto me like I'm a life jacket and my sense of purpose nearly knocks me on my ass. We jump the last three feet, thankfully landing soundlessly-safe-and-sound on the grass.

I look up to see how close Edward is only to meet his eyes. Still in the window. In the room. Where I can hear the cracking of the door. _What the fuck._

"The fuck, Edward," I stage-whisper. I can hear people out front. I can hear Dad's right hand man, Felix taunting the captured party goers. I reach my hand up as if I can physically pull him down from this far. "Get the hell down here." It's a demand. A demand he just shrugs off. He motherfucking shrugs at me at a time like this. I want to throttle him.

"There's drugs all over the house, B. I'm getting slammed either way. And Jasper needs me anyway. You know he can't handle shit like this. I'll be cool. My grandpa will get me outta this in no time."

There's another crack and it's only a matter of seconds before my father barrels through. "Go!"

"Dammit, let's go." I grab a hold of Precious once again and this time she holds onto me just as tightly. We run side by side into the vast amount of trees, quickly covered by them. Surrounded and safe. But not safe enough to not still hear a loud crash and my fathers carrying voice.

"Time for you to go where you belong faggot." His voice is a powerful thing, reaching as far as we have gotten. We run like our tails are on fire. We run and we run and we run and we don't fucking stop. I count the steps we take – 1034 steps – when Alice suddenly falls to the ground cursing up a storm I've never heard from her pretty little mouth.

I won't lie. It gave me an extremely inappropriate lady-boner.

"What's wrong?"

She rips off her shoe, growling at it. I look closely seeing the skinny heel is missing. "These were my favorites," she grumbles. I laugh humorlessly-seriously-nothing-to-laugh-at-just-super-exhilarated. I collapse next to her, trying to get my breathing under control.

"I'll buy you a new pair," I promise. My eyes are closed and I can feel her. My skin is buzzing with _her her her. _She's all over me without even touching. It's maddening. I crack an eye open and stare at her staring at me. "We should go."

She sighs, frustrated. "We're running like we just escaped from prison," she complains.

"If we had stuck around, prison would have been a haven, hunny. Trust me." I lean up on my elbows. We're so close. The buzzing is turning into a numbing sensation, and I gotta fucking touch her. I reach my hand out and run a finger down her side. She shivers, then turns to me. She giggles, breathless. Her hand reaches to my face and I hope she is going to touch me, too, but instead her skin barely grazes mine as she pulls a twig from my tangled ponytail.

I don't have it in me to be embarrassed. She's too close. She's all that's on my mind. "Thanks," I say.

"You're welcome." Her eyes are shining and I am sure mine match.

She doesn't know it, and I know she doesn't know it, but I know it. We're fucking destined. She was made for me. Made with me in mind. There's no other explanation. This feeling, this vibe, this aura, is too damn strong. It's a pull I never want to even try to ignore.

_Belong, belong, b-b-belong. _Why would my heart sing such a thing if it weren't true?

The lingering silence ends when Alice grabs my hand and says, "Your dad is kind of a hard ass, huh." It isn't a question. Her eyes dart between mine as she waits for me to open up to her.

I laugh without humor, there is nothing funny about Daddy Dearest. "Sure is." I have to be as honest with this girl as I can. She's The One and The One should never be lied to.

She nods her head and sighs, long and loud. "Poor Edward."

"I know."

Another silence, this one slightly uncomfortable as Alice looks away from me a faint blush dusting her cheeks and nose. It's beautiful, but the reason behind it is unfathomable. "Are we still friends?" She wrings her fingers together nervously, again biting an ugly hole into her bottom lip. I reach up and pull her her lip from the harsh treatment.

"Why would you ask that? Of course we are...if you wanna be, that is." Maybe she doesn't. Am I too forward? Are my hands too touchy?

Her next words squash my fears and insecurities and make my spirit kind of, sort of, lift off the ground and soar. "Oh, I do! I really do," she laughs, relaxing. "You're like, the realest person in Forks," she laughs again.

I blush and look away from her now. I can't tell her that I am actually the most fake person in Forks. I am so worried about what people will think that I hide who I truly am. Even from the object of my every desire. I don't think I am a lesbian, I'm not straight, I am not bi. I am nothing but a slave to _her _and she doesn't even know. I revolve around her. I just can't say anything. Probably not ever.

_Unfulfilled._ I am.

"And the reason I ask," she continues on uncomfortably. "is because, well...I was hardly cool up there. You know, freaking out about dropping a few damn feet from a window." She laughs bitterly and another piece of her falls into my hands.

No. not immortal. Human. One that is my responsibility to care for. If she'll let me.

"Jessica and Lauren would have had a field day with that one." She rolls her eyes.

I bristle at the edges, grabbing her hand tighter in my grasp. No one is allowed to make her feel like that, like she has to hide her humanity. "Fuck them. They're sheep. Their opinion doesn't fucking matter because they've never had one of their own." My head shakes of its own accord, or maybe I am vibrating. I don't know. I look back into her awed and slightly incredulous stare.

"You don't ever have to pretend to be anything when you're with me, Alice. Never."

The same thing isn't said for me, but I don't say that to her. I have to be a friend to her, not a lover. Not yet, at least. Not until she _sees._

"Yeah...I feel that." _Thank you, God._ "You're kinda freaking spectacular, Bella." Her smile is about a mile wide and bright as a bulb.

She feels me. She gets me. She knows me.

_Thank you, God._

Her hand strokes mine, and her eyes don't stray. It's a moment I never want to end. But as always, all good things must come to an end. At least in my life this rings truth.

Footsteps. Heavy, booted footsteps break into our bubble, popping it like Tyler did earlier, only this time, it's worse. This time, it's dangerous.

"I saw a few of them running here, Chief, I swear. They can't have gotten that far." Fucking Felix. That fucking lapdog motherfucker.

I jump up, dragging Alice with me. The voices are getting louder and louder and I am struck and stuck. I can't protect what really matters to me if I am such a pussy.

_Think, bitch!_

"I'm wasting my damn time. They're long fucking gone."

My dad comes into view and that's all it takes for Alice to sprint the hell out of view. She jumps behind a large fallen tree trunk, lying flat on her back. I run behind a giant rock-boulder-land-before-the-humans type of creation just as the two officers enter the clearing, standing right exactly where Alice and I had only a moment ago. I peek out to watch them and make sure they don't get close to Alice.

My dad tucks the taser in his hand back into the holder around his waist. He rips a frustrated hand through his hair, sighing and turning to glare at Felix. "Fucking bastards think they can just disrespect the law." He's laughing at the edge of insanity. "Edward, that little fucking flamer, thinks that he can do whatever he wants just because his hippie-dippy parents come from old money. Pisses me off. But I got that little fucker now." He smiles a spine-tingling smile, making me shiver all over, and holds up a small plastic bag of white.

The contents are unmistakable. It's blow. Snow. Cocain. And so not Edward's.

Officer Felix looks at the bag, confused and shaking his head. "But we got that off that Newton kid." _I knew it._

"Newton is a good boy, just got mixed up with the wrong people is all. And I seem to recall finding this stash in Edward's dresser drawer. Don't you?"

"Oh, right. How could I forget?" Both police-jerks laugh, and a sudden movement to their right catches my attention.

It's Alice. Fucking shit. She's trying to get out from behind the log and over to me. I wave her off with my hand, hoping my face conveys what I need it to. _"Stay the fuck back."_

She seems to get the message and quickly gets back into place behind the tree trunk, and damn her, makes too much noise. The leaves under her rustle noisily and both policeman jerk their heads to look.

Right.

At.

Her.

Officer Felix turns to smile cockily at my dad. He mouths _"told you." _

Dad just pushes his chest and pulls out his taser. His fucking taser. He's going to use a taser on the love of my life. "Come out and play, kid. We got ya surrounded," he chuckles. They both start to circle the fallen trunk and my mind is spinning.

All I can see in my mind is him touching her, grabbing her, hurting her, tasing her, handcuffing her, abusing her, arresting her, planting drugs on her...I can't fucking bear it.

_Alice's damn Miata better appreciate this._

My love-feet follow my love-minds orders, and I am on my loving fucking way out from behind the boulder and into the open. Maybe I am an idiot, maybe a hero, maybe I'm just in spontaneous-all-consuming-mind-numbing love. Doesn't matter now anyway. I'm dead.

"Grab her!" I hear my father yell, but I don't look back.

I get only about four feet before I am tackled to the ground by a heavy weight, making me cry out in surprised pain. I guess I should be thankful the taser wasn't used. Tears prickle at my eyes as I am forcefully turned onto my back by Officer Felix. I look up into the stunned eyes of my father standing over us and I know, I know, I know I'm fucked.

"Is...Isabella?" Shock, disbelief, anger all fight for a place on my fathers turning-more-purple-by-the-second face.

I sniffle-choke back the sob of fear in my throat. "Hi, Dad." My eyes are spilling over now but it isn't because I am scared, or even upset anymore. These are tears of relief. They're both by me, which means Alice is safe. My stupid sacrifice wasn't all for naught.

Charlie pushes Felix off me and grabs me by the scruff of my neck, hauling my body up off the ground. He shakes me violently. I can feel the remnants of alcohol slosh around in my belly. I feel like a bottle of coke, shaken to it's breaking point. One more and I'll spew my dinner all over my father.

He's red with anger and glowing with barely contained rage. "You disobedient little..." He shakes me again and it's all I can do to keep the bile in my throat from coming forth.

_I mean, no need to poke the bear, right mom?_

He throws me back down onto the forest floor then turns his head to the side and spits his next words at his right hand man. "Go back to the cars. You didn't fucking see her, got it?"

Felix catches the threatening undertone and immediately cowers away. He spares me one last glance before taking off, my little friend behind the tree long forgotten. And if I didn't know that for sure, my fathers next move makes it perfectly clear she is all but a distant memory.

My father looks down at me, red with rage, and delivers a swift kick to my side. I wasn't expecting it and can't hold in the shock-pained scream. I can barely see through the tears blurring my eyes, but I know Alice is here, watching. I can feel her.

And I am shamed.

"How dare you? You shameful little piece of shit." Another kick to my side, only this time I hold my lips in a tight line only letting out a whimper of hard repressed pain. Alice doesn't need to hear me. I'm degraded enough.

"Did your fucking mother let you out?" He picks me back up by my hair and I grab his hand with both of mine trying to lessen the pain, but it's in vain as he brings his face down to mine and hisses,"The truth."

I know what he wants. He wants to cast blame on my mom. He prefers to pick on her. It makes him feel more powerful, but I won't drag her down with me. I breathe through the pain in my side as the tears are falling freely. I'm helpless to stop them. "I sneaked out. She didn't see me, I swear, Dad. She had no idea. She wouldn't undermine you like that."

_You happy bastard? You feel like a man now? _

Dad closes his eyes, his nostrils flared as he tries to rein in his anger. Sobbing uncontrollably now, I look out of the corner of my eyes to Alice who is now closer than I would like. She looks enraged and scared all at once. Even in my pain, she is first priority. Everything about me, in me, around me, screams that she is.

I mouth _"no"_ and let go of my dads hand with only one of mine to motion for Alice to flee-fucking-flee, hunny! She hesitates for a second before running away with her shoes in hand.

Dad opens his eyes and glares at me. Fear sets in deeper now that Alice is out of harms way. I'm f-u-c-k-e-d and I know it. He finally lets go and I cry in relief, rubbing my head, trying to rid myself of the harsh sting. He takes off his jacket and throws it around my shoulders.

"You look like a prostitute," he sneers disgustedly. I look down ashamed, again. "You're just like your damn mother." He grabs my arm and pushes me in the direction of the Cullen mansion. I limp from the pain in my side, but make no complaint.

"I'm gonna take you home." he says. "You're gonna change those clothes, then you're gonna wait for me. I gotta make sure your faggot friends don't get off with a slap on the wrist. When I get home, you better believe you won't either."

I cry a little harder but it makes no sound. It wouldn't matter anyway. I haven't cried so much in a long time. It stopped helping when I was ten, now it just makes me feel weak. And he doesn't care.

Something catches my blurry attention and I look to the side and see Alice. She's standing slightly hidden by a tree. Her shoulders are shaking and I can tell she is crying. Dammit, why does she have to do that to me? I look away quickly not wanting to see that and also not wanting my father to catch on that I was distracted by anything too important.

Because she is. Too important.

When we finally get to the front of the Cullen mansion I see four police cruisers sitting out front, all full of party goers, three each. The rest are sitting on the porch, being heavily interrogated and taunted by three policeman with tasers and guns and batons and it's scary.

For me. For them. For everyone. Except the cops. They couldn't care less about anything but a quota and looking like total bad asses.

I look into the cars as I pass them, noticing my dads main guys; Felix, Demetri, Jane, and Alec all in their own cruisers with three teenagers in each of their backseats and evil, satisfied smiles on their faces. I can see a crying Lauren in the backseat of Jane's car. A sniffling Tyler Crowley in Demetri's and a few other familiar faces, all crying in some form.

I don't know these people, I don't like these people, but it's still heart wrenching. They didn't deserve this. They just wanted fun on a Friday and I ruined it. I was stupid to think my father wouldn't check out the party when I mentioned it. I just figured he wouldn't be dumb enough to jeopardize his job. Esme's father, Eleazar, is one bad motherchucker and hates when his family is fucked with. Everyone knows this. I thought it would keep him away.

I was mistaken. Dad. Is. Relentless.

Dad pushes me into the back of the car and I curse loudly when I see Edward is handcuffed, his arms twisted in a shoulder popping position. I can tell Dad took care to make sure Edward is _ comfortable._ The door slams behind me. I don't need to look to know that Edward is wide-eyed staring at me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he whispers. He's in disbelief. I can't blame him. Last he saw, Alice and I were free and home-bound.

I shrug with tears in my eyes. I don't look at him. I don't want Edward to see the fear in my eyes. I can feel his stare on my face as Father Dear pulls the drivers side door open then slams it shut, the car rocking slightly with his movements.

"Yep," Dad chuckle-sighs, his shoulders shaking. "You two are in for a world of hurt." He turns to look at me, his eyes connecting with mine. "A world of hurt."

Edward growls low in his throat but doesn't say anything. I know he would if he didn't fear that it would only make things worse for me. He knows it will and I can see the strain in his jaw to keep quiet when I glance at him. I look away quickly, but reach over and touch his hand with mine behind his back.

He doesn't calm. But I do. Slightly.

* * *

**This is, as always, unedited. I don't have a beta and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with her. **

**Peace and Love.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

_**A/n: Quick update. See? I'm capable. **_

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

"_Power is what men seek and any group that gets it will abuse it." ~Lincoln Steffens_

* * *

The ride home was as quick as it could possibly be with the sirens blaring loud and proud the whole way. Dad bobbed and weaved through cars, honking and basically abusing his coply privileges. But no one would ever say anything to him. Like me and mom, the people just grin and bear it.

He holds too much power in his undeserving hands.

Dad turns off the sirens a few blocks away from our street, I'm sure for the sole reason of not wanting to have people peeking out their windows and seeing his distrustful disaster of a daughter come out of the backseat of a police cruiser. Especially not his own. Especially not dressed like a hooker as I am.

When we pull up in front of the Swan house, Dad doesn't even turn off the car before jumping out and making his way to me in long angry strides. He unlocks the backdoor, glances around the street before opening the door and dragging me out by the arm, his hands hard and rough and demanding and ouching. Pain on pain. Emotional and physical, maybe even a little mental. Who even knows anymore? I'm hurting and it's only the beginning.

He keeps his eyes darting all over the street, looking into houses windows as he drags me to the front door and shoves me through with whispered promises of "_Soon." _

He takes back his jacket then leaves. No more words. Like he needs them. I know what _soon_ means. It means more pain on pain on pain on pain. And I'll be the lucky recipient.

"Bella, you're back so early?" Mom turns the corner from the kitchen, spotting me leaning against the wall in the darkened hallway. "It's only 9." She flips on the light switch and I blink away the tears. I see my mom and all I want to do is run to her and cry cry cry, baby...cry.

Worry and concern creases her brow and she runs to me, doing nothing to stop the mommy needs and tears from gripping me so tightly I'm about to bust. She grabs my face in her hands and I overlap them with my own. I want her to make it better but I know she can't. She can't do anything to help me.

"What happened?"

I sigh and close my eyes, trying to get lost in the comfort that her touch can give me. "Dad crashed the party." I shake my head. "I was stupid to think he wouldn't."

"What?" I open my eyes and look into hers. She's full of shock and fear and she's disbelieving. "He wouldn't do that. Esme's father will have his head, he knows that!"

"Like he cares?" I laugh to hide the bubbling-to-surface sob. He doesn't care. He arrested his own daughters best friends. "He's the town party pooper, Ma. No matter who is throwing the party."

He never cares _**who **_he is hurting. I'm his one and only child and he hurts me constantly. I cry to my mother, unable to hold it in anymore. I'm scared, mad, humiliated, defeated. "He's going to kill me, isn't he?"

Before she can say anything in return, we tense at the sound light footfalls coming from the kitchen and I wonder who the hell Mom has in Dad's kitchen. Dad doesn't like people here. Who would she break the rules for?

"Ree? Everything okay?" Phyllis turns the corner, sees us standing together then smiles her pink-on-white shiner. "Oh, Bella. How you doin' girl? You look so cute tonight!" Unseeing of the tears I can feel on my cheeks.

Phyllis is a twenty-something with short blonde hair, big glitter-pink lips, compact breasts, and a butt to write home about. She's Forks own Amazon and is on the UDub baseball team with the guys. And she is one damn oblivious woman.

Mom wipes the tears from under my eyes with her thumbs, then turns to Phyllis.

"Everything is fine, Phee." She smiles but it's forced and looks like it hurts. "But, uhm, my daughter needs me right now. I hate to kick you out..."

"Oh, no prob. I totally get it. I should go do some warm-ups for tomorrow anyways. Big day!" she squeals excitedly, doing a little jiggle that makes her hair and some unmentionables bounce.

She runs to the kitchen quickly and comes back a second later with her white jacket and fringed purse draped over her arm. She glides up to Mom and leaves a long lingering kiss on her cheek. Mom blushes. I didn't know Mom did that. "I hope to see you tomorrow at the game? You're my good luck charm." A wink. If I wasn't so worried about my father and his anger, I would definitely be a little curious about this.

Hell, even with the looming darkness, I'm a little curious.

"I'll try." Another forced smile. She knows what is coming for us in just a few hours, maybe minutes if Dad is so inclined.

Phyllis finally leaves patting me on the shoulder on her way out.

"Okay," Mom sighs. "Let's get you changed and in a shower. You smell like a liquor store."

"Does it matter?" I shake my head, walking in front of Mom up the stairs. "He's gonna murder me."

She says nothing in return and I know I am f-u-c-k-e-d, fucked. I grab my black and white plaid pajamas from the dresser. Removing the clothes I have on, I shove them under the bed. I don't want dad to touch them. They're smell like _her_ still.

I slink to the bathroom in my dark purple robe, passing my mom on the way. She looks torn and I don't know why. What is tearing at her? Who knows? I don't even care anymore. I'm dead in a matter of hours.

I take a fast shower, scrubbing in a half-assed-who-really-gives-a-common-care kind of way. I hiss when my loofah comes in contact with my side. It's sore and I am sure tomorrow it will be black and blue, but nothing feels broken, thank you, God. I brush the alcohol off my breath. Maybe he'll take it easy if he can't smell the sins on me. Doubtful.

I dress in my jammies, fear gone and resolve settling in. I open the door to my room and have to hold in a scream when I see a shadow sitting on my bed, still as a haunting gargoyle. My room is encased in dark shadows and Unknown, the light having blown out earlier in the day. Like my room knew today would be something dark. The room always knows.

"Mom?" I breath when I squint and make out her delicate figure.

"I'm a failure," she says. Calm. But not. At all.

"Huh?" I sit next to her on the bed, gathering my feet under me and face her. "What do you mean?"

"I'm a failure as a mother. You shouldn't be afraid of your own father. Especially not with me around." She breaks free from her imitation of a statue and turns to me grabbing my hands in her shaking ones. "I'm supposed to protect you. You're supposed to feel protected by me. That's my job and I fail at every turn." Her voice is one never-ending groan of long repressed pain.

"Mom..." I don't know what to say to that. Apparently she doesn't need me to say anything at all. She just keeps talking, looking right into my eyes with an unfathomable depth.

"It's just that he's so much! He so much, Bella. I can't control him anymore. I used to have some kind of say, Bella. I did! It wasn't always like this. _I_ wasn't always like this. When he became an officer he became a different person. Hungry with insatiable power. It progressed so slowly, happening right before my eyes. I was losing control of my family and didn't even realize it until there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. Then, oh God, then he got upped to Chief and everything fell to pieces. He's a monster and you're afraid of him and I'm doing nothing! I fail!" She's sobbing, her eyes holding a pain I didn't know she had. A pain reminiscent of what I see when I look into the mirror.

She hurts like I do.

"Mom, it isn't your fault that he thinks he's Forks own personal God." I try to make her feel better, I can't stand the pain I see in her, but she won't have any of it.

"It is, Bella. Don't you understand that? I treated him like he was the master and the rest of us just simple puppets to use and abuse at his will. I let him get away with treating people poorly. Treating me poorly. And you..." She's half crazed-crazy looking into my eyes and not letting up. "It. Needs. To. Stop." She punctuates every word with a hard grip on my hand.

She's too intense.

"What are you going to do?" I'm scared. She isn't acting like herself. "Don't do anything stupid, Mom, please, you're not in trouble right now. I am. I told dad you had no idea that I left. You're in the clear. Don't be stupid." _Please don't be stupid._

She laughs bitter and hard. I recoil from the sound. "I'll never be in the clear. _We'll _never be in the clear. I won't placate him anymore. I can't. Phyllis...she has made me see things that I never even thought possible before. She showed me that I am better than this life. I am stronger than this. I know I'm not stronger than your father, but I am stronger than..._this_!" She throws her arms up in exaggeration and frustration.

"Mom," I try to hold her eyes that are darting all over my face. She's losing it. She's finally losing it. "I'm begging you, don't do anything. Just...just let things happen and tomorrow..."

"What? Tomorrow we'll go back to being the Jackson family? What kind of mother am I?"

"A great one," I assure her and she is. "One I want to keep intact. Please, _please_ don't provoke him," I beg. I'm begging and begging and she isn't seeing reason. She isn't seeing anything but her own resolve.

"He's already provoked. He's always angry and power hungry. But he isn't touching you. Phyllis told me-"

"Fuck what Phyllis told you!" _What is that woman putting in my mothers coffee?_

Mom grips my hands roughly, giving me a stern glare, something else she has never done. "Phyllis told me that women have more strength than we think. We're not meant to be brought down and made slaves by men. We're powerful and maternal. You're my baby and I have to protect you. I will finally protect you."

"Stop it, Mom, please? This is crazy," I cry. She is only going to get hurt. Can't she see that? "Just stop. Don't do anything. I'm begging you." _Stop making me beg you!_

She says nothing. She just sighs and looks away from me, shaking her head. She pats my hands, stands from the bed with a heavy walk to the open door. With one last look at me, she leaves, closing the door behind her, letting it echo in the dark confinement of my room.

She just lets it echo.

* * *

"_Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." ~Friedrich Nietzsche_

* * *

The slamming of a door jolts me from a fitful sleep. I shoot up in my bed, glancing at the decrepit egg-yellow alarm clock on my nightstand.

_1:00 a.m._

I hear my fathers loud smokers cough and I wince, my body tensing painfully. I lie back down and curl into a ball at the head of my bed. I know what is coming. It won't be the first time and I for-really doubt it will be the last. I brace myself, ready as I'll ever be to feel the brunt of my fathers anger.

But he doesn't want me. Not yet.

"Renee," he calls loud. "Get your ass down here!"

I can't help it; I open my ears to the sounds outside my door and listen. I hear my parents bedroom door open and close with a soft click, then listen to the soft pad-piddle-padding footsteps of my mother as she walks by my door and to the stairwell not in any kind of rush. Usually when Dad calls her, she runs. When Dad says jump, she jumps. When Dad tells her to shut the fuck up, she shuts-the-mother-fuck right up.

_What is she doing?_

I try to concentrate on her out-there-not-like-her actions through my hazed and sleepy-tired mind and I gasp when I remember her words from earlier. God, I remember. I am brought back to the conversation between the two of us. But, she couldn't have been serious...right?

_Is she that stupid?_

I uncoil my tense body and jump out of bed, running to my door. I don't know what I can do to help, probably nothing but get in the way of a fist or two, but I have to try. She's my mother. She can't get hurt. Not because of me. Not ever.

This self-sacrificial phase better end. Soon. I'm a cat on her last damn life.

Me-fucking-_OW_!

I try to pull my door open, but meet resistance. I pull harder, straining the muscles in my arms, neck, and back, only to come up short and pained. It's locked, from the outside. My father had installed that lock a few years ago to punish me for something I can't even remember doing. I think I took a cookie without permission. It warranted two days isolation.

Like I said, he's a bastard.

And now my own mother is using his weapons of torture against me. Or for me? Either way, the bitch locked me in and I am none too happy about it. She has me caged like an animal... But for my own benefit.

Which means she was really-truly-for-serious.

Which means she's going to...

Which means she is going to motherfucking die!

My world is crashing down around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. This feeling is common in me, but I've never felt it so strong Helpless. I've never felt so damn helpless as I do now. And then my father speaks and my helplessness turns into nothingness.

Complete and utter nothingness. I slump against the door.

"I ain't got all damn day, Renee."

"I'm coming." Her voice is hard and I cringe into my door, vainly turning the knob.

"You know, Renee," I hear him sigh. I can see the acid-like-air floating in through the cracks of my door, tickling my skin. "I don't ask you for much, just to watch over my daughter when I can't. And you failed. You fucking failed so horribly it's hard for me to even process right now."

Floor creaking under the harsh, weathered heels of worn in boots. He's closing in on her.

"I had to pull my baby girl out of the fucking trees, dressed like a prostitute, and smelling like tequila, Renee." His voice is loud but deadly calm and I know this isn't going to end well at all. I feel it in my bones, in my heart, in my breaking-apart-into-minuscule-pieces soul.

Definitely not going to end well. Not for her, for me. For anyone. I've said it once, twice, thrice, and again. He's a relentless bastard.

"Do you have any idea how humiliating that was, Renee? Do you?"

"Well, _Charlie,_" I hear my mother snarl. Mom doesn't snarl. Why is mom snarling? "_My_ daughter, _Charlie_, just wanted a little fun, _Charlie_. Something you never let her have, _Charlie._"

My stomach drops down to my Daffy Duck slipper-socks.

_Uh-oh. _

_Oh no._

She's bringing him down to the level he squashes her at. She's too motherfucking bold. Dad hates bold. He's going to kill her. I pull on the door once more, growling at the resistance. I want out!

She keeps talking and my heart keeps pounding out an unsteady rhythm, bruising my chest. "And anyway, you're the one who invaded the party in the first place. And you know you just fucked yourself royally this time, don't you? Eleazar will have your head on a platter, _**Charlie**_," she spits like the bitterest of whiskey.

Harsh.

And the the quiet comes, carping over our un-home.

Long, dark, full-of-monsters..._quiet. _A chill creeps up my spine.

I hold my breath, gripping the doorknob as the eerie silence carries like death up the stairs and to my tensed-tingling ears. Everything is still and silent and God-it's-too-much-to-bear, for an immeasurable amount of time. I try to count the beats, but there's too many thoughts in my head.

_Is he hurting her?_

_Throttling her?_

_Killing her?_

The silence can mean anything. It can mean an end...or a beginning. It can mean bad things, and in this house that is most likely reality. Very bad things.

The silence, the silence, the silence... is broken with a sharp, echoing _slap_ that resounds, carrying to my room, making me jump back. Then a body hits the wall. I know the sound. It sounds like hell. I don't want to hear it. I cup my hands over my ears, the slap still reverberating throughout my entire body, swimming in my veins and galloping in strokes up to my heart.

I think I prefer the silence. I can't hear the pain in silence. The only pain in silence is waiting, not knowing. Tense. I want that back now. It's better.

Even with my hands over my ears, I can still hear him and his damn carrying voice that haunts my dreams, my life. It never ends. Like Mom had said; _We'll __**never**__ be in the clear._

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again." Deadly calm. Deadly.

I brace myself against the door frame, my muscles clenching into an uncomfortable coil as the thundering of footsteps sound on the stairs. I listen though the cracks of my fingers, counting as they take one stair, two, three, four, seven, twelve, fourteen. They make a sharp left, squeaking on the hardwood, and I swallow down the sob of fear rising in my throat. He's getting closer and closer. I take a step back, tears pouring from my eyes, I can't control them. Today is, apparently, a day for waterworks. They're long overdue, I guess. They're making up for lost time.

I'm fucking drowning in them.

I cry for fear, uncertainty, and – crazily enough – gratitude. To my mother. She's never tried to help me before. And while she failed – miserably and only got hurt in the process – I fucking appreciated it. I fucking appreciated having someone sacrifice for me, however insufficient it may have been.

I. Fucking. Appreciate. Her. Now more than ever.

The bone-chilling sound of a hand on the doorknob, twisting it. I jump back and keep going until the backs of my knees hit the bed, but I don't fall on it. He'd just drag me up by my ponytail. The knob jingles angrily now as he realizes that it's locked.

The pounding starts.

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**Okay, now I am just dragging it out for dramatic suspense ;] Can't help it.**

**Anyhoo, if you are looking for a nice Bellice fix and you haven't already, you absolutely need to check this story out. I just read it this morning and I am in love with it.**

******The Transformation of Isabella Marie Swan by Elphaba Cullen: ADULT Bellice. Takes place immediately after the movie Eclipse ends. Bella is forced to look long and hard at her life and her decisions. What will she choose and who and most importantly what will she become? Rated M for language, violence and sex. **

**Peace, Love, and Sacrificial Devotion.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**Warning: Violence! Though not terribly graphic. I'm anti-violence and have a hard time imagining such things, but it works for the story...so...yeah. Enjoy! **

**Second Warning!: Bad writing in this chapter. The violence kind of threw me off. I hate it. But it conveys what it needs so I hope you'll bear through it.**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

_I cry for fear, uncertainty, and – crazily enough – gratitude. To my mother. She's never tried to help me before. And while she failed – miserably and only got hurt in the process – I fucking appreciated it. I fucking appreciated having someone sacrifice for me, however insufficient it may have been._

_I. Fucking. Appreciate. Her. Now more than ever._

_The bone-chilling sound of a hand on the doorknob, twisting it. I jump back and keep going until the backs of my knees hit the bed, but I don't fall on it. He'd just drag me up by my ponytail. The knob jangles angrily now as he realizes that it's locked._

_The pounding starts._

* * *

His fists are hard, angry, animal, on the door and I can't control it. I let out a small scream into my sleeve-covered hands.

I'm not scared. Scared doesn't even come close to how I feel. I'm too far gone to be scared. I'm fucked-beyond-all-fucking-recognition-and-know-it, piss-my-pants-dirty terrified. Tonight is different, I know it. He's so angry. My father likes control, and to be outright denied control as he was today...things won't end well.

He's a sadistic man on a mission and that's dangerous.

He curses loudly and then I hear the telltale jingling of keys. The sound is chaotic, like he cannot even get enough bearing on his own self-control to find the correct key to open the door and put me out of my long lived misery.

Only a few seconds pass when I hear another, lighter set of thundering footsteps up the stairs and my heart actually fucking stops in my chest, momentarily knocking the wind out of me. I hope, I pray, I freaking beg it to not be her. Why can't she just let things go?

But I have no doubt it mine that it's her. I know it's her when I hear a glass-shattering, ear-piercing scream that sends shivers up my spine and bile into my mouth. It's a sound of anger, pain, and Mama-bear all tightly folded into one feral cry. It's deafening. I squeeze my hands over my ears so tight my nails dig into the flesh, but it doesn't help. The sounds, the sounds, they're all around me.

"What the fuck?" I hear my fathers bewilderment change to quivering anger. "What the fuck has gotten into you, Renee?" He barely has the time to get the words out before the scream my mother reverberates intensifies to something alien, inhuman, and deadly, attack-ready.

I try not to listen anymore, I don't want to listen, I don't want to hear, but I hear everything. Every sound. Every slam of a body hitting another. Every grunt of pain, both male and female. Everything. I hear my tiny mother fighting my beast of a father. Where he has brute strength, she has repressed rage and Mama-bear instincts all finally bubbling to the surface. She's exploding all over him, and while I cannot see a thing, I can hear her repaying him for years and years of submissively endured _**PAIN**_.

The pain is just too much to bear now. The submission has run its last lap.

A feral scream of, "I hate you!" tears from her throat, then skin hitting skin in a vicious slap and I don't know anymore who is handing out or receiving which blow. All I know is this is insanity. My world, it's tipped.

My wall nearly crumbles from the impact of a body and I jump away, a silent scream escaping me. Or maybe it was loud? Did they hear it? Does it matter?

"That's e-fucking-nough! You better fucking calm yourself, Renee, or so help me-!"

"I hate you!" Savage, my mother is savage.

I hear my fathers yell of surprise as the unmistakable sound of two battling bodies hitting the floor blares out around me like a grenade. The explosive sounds carrying to the forgotten outside world. I hear people. People outside. People yelling. People gossiping. I can hear them over my parents and they signify a shift in energy, of change. Things won't be the same after this. They just can't be the same after this.

I turn my attention back to the fight going on just outside my room when I hear the stomps of two sets of shoes running by my door and down the stairs. There's a crash, I can practically see the light blue vase Grams gave my mother before she died shattering into pieces. My mom screams and I scream with her, I feel what she feels and I plead, please-God-please for it to just stop. But it doesn't. There's more thundering up the stairs, and will it ever end?

They stop at the halfway mark, then tumble back down. If I could see what is going on down there, I know I'd see my mother being the person I always wanted her to be. She's protecting me with everything in her soul, heart, and fists. She's being the mother that her mother was when she was alive. She's being the mother in movies who will do anything for their child. I want to cry at the thought, but the tears only mix with the not-so-happy ones so I settle for trying to be there for her.

I throw myself at the door and yell, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" like a litany, An endless string of prayers, letting her know I'm here for her. I know it works when her growls turn up in volume and another crash sounds, my father grunting in agonized pain just as sirens and bright lights turn onto our street.

"Dammit, stop, you crazy bitch!" Desperation colors his gruff tone. I've never heard him use that emotion, that weakness.

One last loud thud sounds through the house, then everything goes quickity-quiet, not even crickets sing their songs. It's so quiet. Like, just-before-the-shark-opens-his-jaws-and-eats-you-alive quiet. I hover near my bed, awaiting whatever is to come, chewing a hole into my thumb.

The front door opens then slams shut, shaking the house, and I am surprised the whole damn thing hasn't crumbled yet from the abuse it has endured tonight. The bright lights from the cruisers outside cast an eerie glow in my room, the shadow of the tree outside looming on my walls like claws ready to grab at me and it couldn't be more appropriate. The almost too loud police sirens make my blood pulse unsteady in my veins as the stairs are once again assaulted by someone running up them, whoever it is is taking them two at a time.

The steps drift to my room, keys jingle-jangle against my door, the knob turning slowly. It's like a horror movie, and I am the girl with no where to run, at the mercy of a madman. I can even hear the obnoxious audience yelling at me to_ 'run, bitch! run!'_ But I can't. I'm just waiting for the _boo!_

I jump into my bed, tears on my cheeks mixing old with newly shed and still dripping. I hug my royal blue pillow to my chest, folding my legs around it, as if I can be protected. I can't. I know I can't.

I'm so fucked.

The door creaks open and I just want to yell _"Get it over with already!"_ but my voice isn't working anymore. Fear is gripping my throat into submission. Screaming is futile anyway. The light from the hallway is creeping onto my huddled form so. Fucking. Slowly.

"Bella?" My eyes wrench themselves open, my mouth falling open in a gasp of surprise because it just can't be true. The grace of God, God is smiling down on me and if I could I'd weep my thanks at his feet while apologizing for all my sins.

My mother. My mom is standing before me. Not dead. Not dead, but close. Her face and arms are covered in red splotches and there is a nasty stream of burnt red blood spilling from her nose and onto her lips before she swipes it away with the back of her bruised hand. Even though her face looks like a horror-fest with purple and black patches and smeared oxygenated blood and her arms are shadowed with forming bruises, she is smiling the most radiant of smiles that would make Angelina Jolie green with envy.

My body has a mind of its own as it flings itself off the bed and into her warm, comforting arms. She envelopes me in them, muttering nonsense-too-late-to-comfort-but-still-appreciated calming words of reassurances into my pulsing ears. I hold her too tightly, she hisses slightly but still holds me like a saving grace. I feel a strong admiration for this woman before me. What she did, it may have been wrong, stupid, level-sinking, but it has made us both...happy? Maybe that is the wrong word and it's too soon to use 'free' but I'm too exhausted to think of a suitable one right now. I'll have to try again later. When things are...better. Less stressful. Daddy-less.

"Why did you do that?" I ask when we finally release each other.

She looks into my eyes and the crazed-crazy still lingers but it's swirling beautifully with passion and wonder.

"I won't be a failure anymore. I won't be a punching bag, and I most certainly will not sit by and watch while my baby is used as one." Her hands are hot and steaming on my face as she brings us closer together. I can't stop the cry at the sight of her blood. I wipe it away with the sleeve of my shirt then wrap my hands around her shadowed forearms, dear life doesn't describe how I am holding onto my mother. My hero.

"I never want you to fight him, okay? Ever. Just let me take care of you for once." The mention of my father sets my body on edge.

"Where is he?" My eyes are all over the room, even with her hands holding me in place, as if he is going to just pop out and finish what he started.

Mom sighs, shaking her head and pulling me impossibly closer and, for once, I feel so safe in her arms, like nothing can touch me. It's such a freeing feeling. Light. "Talking his way out of trouble. This is far from over, Bella. He still needs a good ass kicking before he figures out that he isn't the king of the castle anymore."

"I don't want you to fight him." Honesty is the best policy, right?

"I don't want you to worry about anything, alright? Just let me handle things." _Apparently not._

"He'll kill you." She's so sure of herself but she needs to not underestimate him. He's coldblooded.

"He won't kill me, baby. Don't even worry about that." _But I am. I have to worry about that because you aren't._

"He'll hurt you!" The lightness I was feeling for a moment fades as it dawns on me that this is so far from over. She may be able to protect me for a time, but once he plows through her, I'm next in line.

"And I'll hurt him right back." The determination in her eyes is almost enough to set me free, but I won't let it. I keep my feet on the ground.

Mom walks me to my bed and lays me down with a kiss to my heated forehead. She smiles at me with all the love I feel in our family joined hearts. "Let me be the mom I always wanted to be. I want to be your protector. I can handle a few scrapes and bruises, Lord knows that, but at least this time I'm inflicting some pain in return."

At the mention of pain she lifts her sweat soaked shirt to her face, wiping away remnants of war. She hisses but otherwise shows no sign of discomfort as she peers down at me, watching her.

"Go to sleep. And when you wake up in the morning there will be a stack of chocolate chip pancakes waiting for you. Promise." With another feather-soft kiss to my forehead and a brilliant smile, she walks out of the room. Keys jingle-jangle for the last time tonight as I am once again locked in.

The fact that she locks the door reminds me that Dad is still near and everything is far from over.

* * *

"_Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." ~John Wooden_

* * *

The tummy-clenching smell of chocolate chips reaches my nose and I smile in sleepy contentment. It has been so long since Mom made chocolatey pancakes. Dad had told us we were getting too fat and demanded that Mom not make them anymore before he had to roll us to get liposuction.

_Why is she disrespecting Dad's wishes? _I wonder to myself, sitting up in bed and wiping my eyes with my shirtsleeves. They're stiff and scratchy on my skin. I frown and look down at my white jammy top and gasp in surprised horror at what I find.

Blood. As if on replay, image after moving image invade my conscious mind and I nearly double over in remembered fright and pain. Everything that happened yesterday comes to me in horrifying detail and sound. I'm out of my bed like a bullet, running to my now wide open door, following the inappropriately delicious aroma of chocolatey perfection into the kitchen. I'm running so fast down the stairs, I nearly trip, but thankfully catch my balance on the banister. I jump the rest of the way down and rush like my behind is lit into the kitchen where Mom is just flipping a third pancake onto the platter of breakfast foods. The large sterling silver platter passed down from her mother is overflowing with scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, and biscuits and gravy.

She turns to smile at me, her normally beautiful face covered in a sick black bruise on the entire left side of her face, a little beige bandage next to her nose, and a fat busted lip is the topper. Honestly, it isn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, I thought she would be horribly disfigured and have a broken nose, but she isn't and she doesn't. She's even kind of glowing around the black, blue, purple madness. Whatever abuse her arms suffered is covered by a blue long sleeved shirt.

Things seem...nice. Calm and peaceful.

"Hey, baby girl." Her voice is practically a song. "Thought we'd have a feast for breakfast," she laughs with her heart in her mouth. "I may have overdone it, but luckily your new friend showed up to help us out."

_Huh? Friend?_

I look around kitchen that only the two of us occupy. "What new friend?" Has she lost her coconuts? I have two friends and last I heard, they're in jail.

"Alice."

My heart stops. Literally fucking stops beating for two whole seconds, my face breaking out in a feverish red hot sizzle. Just her name makes me swoon. But...she's here? In my house? After what she saw? After everything?

"She's in the bathroom. Poor thing was awful upset. She came knocking on the door at the first sign of light asking if you were okay. The town is buzzing with rumors about the cops being called here last night." She sighs and sets the platter on the small four-seat table next to the open windows. She looks at my petrified face and rolls her eyes. "But when is this town not buzzing with rumors?"

I'm not even registering her words anymore. Alice is in my bathroom. Alice is in _my_ bathroom. She's..._why?_

I want to run to the bathroom in the hall and rip the door open just to see if it is true. And I probably would if the subject of my deep infatuation wasn't _click-clacking_ her heels down my hall, right behind me. She's so close, I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end with goosebumps, that familiar electrical current that flows between us sets my body on fire.

I quickly fold up the bloody sleeves of my shirt and run my fingers through the haystack atop my head. Not even a second later, she is standing in front of me, looking sinful in her tight leggings and mini skirt, a shy, unsure smile on her face.

"Bella," she sighs and reaches out to me hesitantly, her fingers brushing my blush. "You're okay." Her smile widens and she pulls me into a hug, her arms wrapping so tightly around my neck. I want to hug her back, but can't. I'm paralyzed in her embrace and her relief at my well-being. She cares. It seems so absurd, but here she is.

And I am embarrassed. She witnessed my most degrading moment and now she's here, talking to me, hugging me, and it's all kind of too much to understand. I don't even want to try. Not yet. I push her away politely, nodding my head at her, my eyes trained on the ground. I don't know what to do, what to say, how to act. I've never been in a situation like this. Not even Edward or Jasper have seen me at my lowest, taken over by my father.

I say nothing as I walk with my eyes on my Daffy Duck slippers to the table and sit down shakily, my body betraying the emotions I don't want to let out. Mom immediately starts piling my plate with all the foods she has cooked, but I barely register a thing. Alice is still standing behind me, by the stairs, and she is all I can feel, smell, think.

_Her her her her._ She's so wonderful and she's so going to judge me, I know it. I hate to think such a thing about her, but I can feel it in my vibrating brain cells. I mean, how can she not after what she saw? It was horrific and she was there! My face flames and I bury it in my food, scooping up bite after bite, the taste like chalk in my dry mouth.

"Come sit, sweetie. Lots of food to go round," Mom insists, ushering Alice to the seat next to mine. I listen to her light steps gaining on me.

I stuff more food in my mouth, my eyes never look up as the chair right next to me is pulled out. Alice sits down angling the chair to face me and it's like sparks of electricity all through the side of my body. Mom starts piling Alice's plate high as a mountain, then does the same to her own. She sits across the table from me, scrutinizing my hunched over form.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" When I don't look up she kicks me under the table. I quickly chew and swallow, looking into my mothers eyes identical to my own. "Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to talk to Alice?"

_Am I?_ I should. I'm being rude. I can't have her thinking I lack hospitable class along with a dysfunctional family. I'll never have a chance with her then. I'm aware my thoughts are ridiculous at a time like this but I think them none-the-less. Alice is priority number 1. I may be covered in blood from my own mothers face and a bruised side caused by my own father, but I have to impress her. I just have to do it.

Hopelessly devoted I sigh and I turn to her, placing my left hand on my lap when it starts to shake by the power of her gaze. "Hey, Alice." I hope the pinching of my face doesn't offend her.

Her eyes hold hurt, but she smiles slightly at me. "Hi, Bella." She purses her lips for a moment, eyeing the shaking limb on my lap. She reaches over and lights my body on fire when she grabs it in her own. My eyes widen at the gesture, I look up, curious brown meeting determined blue. "Want to go for a ride in my Miata, after breakfast?"

A shy smile is all I can offer right now. I know that things are far from over, I don't even know where my father is hiding right now, but this feels good. Right. Real. Alice won't judge me, I can see it in her _oh_-baby blues and how they stare right past my own eyes and right into my soul, giving me an instant relief from the weight that was sitting there.

After breakfast, Love is going to take me for a ride.

* * *

**Oh, it's FAR from over.**

**Question!: Okay, so I was wondering, before I write the next chapter, what you all want? I kind of want to speed things up between Alice and Bella, get to the point of the story already, but I also think it would be good to drag it out a bit more, let them feel each other out. Either way, I'll make it at least believable so don't worry about that. Just please let me know what you think because I am killing myself trying to figure out the right direction to go.**

**Announcement!: I just wanted to let everyone know that your reviews about my writing and characters is so flattering that I couldn't help it. I have started working on ANOTHER Bellice story. Closets Are For Clothes is my main priority, but please keep a lookout for a new one in the near future. This next one will star a very...not-all-Alice-consumed-devoted-touched-by-an-angel Bella. She'll actually be a little hard to understand. Hope y'all are ready for that.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**A/n: Wow. Just motherfucking-speechless-WOW! I am so happy you all like this. I know it isn't quite up to par with everything else on this site and I don't have a beta, but WOW! You like me, lol. Anyhoo, this chapter got too long again so I am cutting it into 2-3 parts. I don't like my chapters to be under 2,000 words or too much over 4,000 words. That's just my way.**

**Warning: Nothing much this time, actually. This is pretty much fluff – in my opinion, at least. Beware of Bella's normal Alice-lesbianism. She has it bad and thinks about it often. **

**Please enjoy.**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

_Hopelessly devoted I sigh and I turn to her, placing my left hand on my lap when it starts to shake by the power of her gaze. "Hey, Alice." I hope the pinching of my face doesn't offend her._

_Her eyes hold hurt, but she smiles slightly at me. "Hi, Bella." She purses her lips for a moment, eyeing the shaking limb on my lap. She reaches over and lights my body on fire when she grabs it in her own. My eyes widen at the gesture, I look up, curious brown meeting determined blue. "Want to go for a ride in my Miata, after breakfast?"_

_A shy smile is all I can offer right now. I know that things are far from over, I don't even know where my father is hiding right now, but this feels good. Right. Real. Alice won't judge me, I can see it in her oh-baby blues and how they stare right past my own eyes and right into my soul, giving me an instant relief from the weight that was sitting there._

_After breakfast, Love is going to take me for a ride._

* * *

"Oh, that sounds like fun, huh, Bella?" My mothers eyes glisten with excitement as she looks between the two of us across the table. I've never seen her so animated. "You two girls can go up to Port Angeles and catch that new horror movie. Actually I think someone dies. I don't think you're not old enough for that... Oh! You can go to this really cute little boutique, I think it's on Spring Street, or something, I'm not sure. Alice, do you have a GPS?" She doesn't even wait for answer as her mouth is running 100 miles a minute.

"Ooh! You can go to Baskin-Robbins, they have the best ice cream cones, and 31 flavors, don't you know? Can you believe 31 flavors of ice cream even exist?" she giggles heartily.

This woman is on a roll. Every time I try to get a word in, she just keeps going and going and go-ing. I use my free hand to hide my blushing cheeks at her enthusiasm at the prospect of me going out. Embarrassment isn't something I am accustomed to. People don't really see me long enough for anything embarrassing to happen. But here is Love being witness to my mothers overbearing-ness. Something I haven't even been subjected to before.

I peek at the woman across from me, so animated, so alive, so shiny – even under the bruises and gashes. I feel like I am looking at someone new. It's her – but improved, happy. She's become this lively mama-bear and I am so confused. My world has been shifted for the better, but I can't help but wait for the backlash. It has to be just around the corner.

"...I think the drive-in may be opening around 4:30. That vampire movie is playing. It looks pretty good, but the characters are so unbelievably gorgeous, I don't think I can take it too seriously. Hmm..." Her eyes are unfocused as she hums and taps her chin at all the possibilities I know are running through her mind.

I look to Alice and she is hiding her smile behind her hand.

"Mom!" The blush on my cheeks feels like it is burning a hole through my skin. "Thanks, really, but I think we can manage finding something to do." _Now stop embarrassing me in front of the girl I have dirty dreams about. It ain't cool!_

I turn my eyes down and look at my food, not glancing up at Alice again though I can feel the pulsing in my chest, and the hammering in my gut meaning her eyes on me. Every time she looks at me, it's magnetic. My body wants hers. It can feel her. Soul mates comes to mind, but even that doesn't seem of adequate measure.

When I do think of something, I'll write it in the stars.

"Sorry," Mom laughs, blushing a little herself. She reaches over and grasps the hand on my face, pulling it away and squeezing it in hers. "It's just that after yesterday and all the crap that went down, you could use some fun. I just want you to get out and have a good time." She shrugs bashfully.

"That's so sweet, Mrs. Swan." Alice says, her tone one of admirable-adoration. I peek up at her and see her smile is so incandescent it nearly blinds me. I have to look away. "And ice cream couldn't sound better." She squeezes my hand under the table, hard enough to get my attention and I give it to her. What else am I supposed to do?

The day I deny her something is the day the voices in my head stop interacting with one another. In other words, motherfucking never.

I look up at her using my hair as a veil to hide my feverish cheeks. But Alice surprises me. She reaches out and moves my hair out of my face, tucking it securely behind my ear. The skin there burns so beautiful and bright, her fingers leave a fiery trail.

"What do you think? Ice cream or a vampire movie? Perhaps both? I'm up for anything you want to do."

"Umm..." I glance at my mother who is blissfully chowing down on her pancakes, completely unaware of the fire Alice just lit me on. I turn back to her and she is smiling a wry-shy smile that is so unlike Alice. "Ice cream is good. I don't really like going to the movies."

My eyes look deeper into hers, trying to decipher what that little twinkle-twinkly dot is next to her pupil. I've always looked close, but I've never _been_ so close. In a sea of blue, a speck of brown? Is that even possible?

"Oh!" I jump and pull my face away from Alice when my mother drops her fork to her plate, the sound of metal click-clanking on glass rings in my head. Mom claps her hands together, looking far too happy for a woman covered in fresh wounds and bruises.

"Since you're going to be in PA anyway, how about you join me for a baseball game?" Her tone is hopeful and her eyes are imploring. "Phyllis is being scouted, or whatever." She waves her hand around her head dismissively.

"I know she'd love the extra supporters."

I don't want to tell my mother no, not after all she did for me, but I also don't want to put Alice in an awkward position. Who wouldn't feel obligated to accept an offer from a battered woman?

I look at her and am shocked to see her positively beaming at Mom. She sits up a little straighter in the chair, her hand firm in mine. "UDub against the Seattle Redhawks, right?" she asks, her excitement matching my mothers.

"You follow?" Mom's surprise mirrors mine. In all my time watching – _ahem, stalking_ – Alice I have never once seen her attend a baseball game, or wear a baseball cap, or even mention baseball to her friends. I am floored by her knowledge, and just a bit upset. I hate to think that I don't know her as well as I thought. But I'm also excited at the prospect of learning.

"My big brother is on the UDub team. Alec. Do you know him?"

"Oh, yeah. I've met him a few times. He's a little...umm," she giggles nervously, looking away from Alice's wide-open and watchful eyes.

Alice raises her brow and smirks knowingly. "Odd? Off-putting? Freakish?"

"I've never actually had a conversation with him, but he comes off just a little strange, yes. I'm sorry."

"Mother!" _Oh, dear God._ I shoot her a scathing look. Alice squeezes my hand under the table reassuringly and the gesture makes my heart stumble all the way to the other side of my chest. I think it's trying to get to her.

"Don't even worry about it," she chuckles. "I know he's strange, he knows he's strange, the doctor that delivered him knew. It's common knowledge." She shrugs. Mom smiles and goes back to her food, happy that no offense was taken to her careless words.

"Uh." I clear my throat when the silence becomes too much. "So you like baseball? I didn't know that." I want to know much, much more about you, Little Love.

"Of course I like baseball, silly." She rolls her eyes and pulls my hand onto her lap as she leans in closer. My heart kind of wiggles its way back to its respective position, all of the sudden shy by her close proximity. "It's Americas favorite pastime."

"Oh..."

"Bella isn't a fan of sports, Alice," she chuckles, eyeing my perplexed expression. "Neither am I, really. But Phyllis likes it so I gave it a shot. It's really not that bad once you get into the flow." She looks at me with wide eyes full of hope. "Are you in or not? I'd really love for you to come and spend some time with me."

"I'm in," Alice chimes in and looks to me with my mothers matching hope. "If Bella is, of course."

_Great. Like I can say no. _"Yeah." I shrug. "I guess." Baseball may be a total effing suck-fest in my book but what's a girl to do when backed into a corner by Love-Desire and her mama?

"Wonderful! This is going to be so much fun, just us girls." Mom claps and does an embarrassing little jig in her seat. I sigh and drop my face back in my hands as Alice's body literally shakes with her beautiful laughter.

"Phyllis and I are planning to go out to eat afterward. You guys should come with. Ooh, and then, maybe, we can, uh... Go dancing! We can make a night of it. Forget our problems and just live and love life, yeah?"

I can't help but smile at the table hearing my ma filled with so much exuberance. It reminds me of my childhood. I have brief glances of the 'back then', when things were still okay and she was a person and not an object. When Dad was still human and not a monster. When my biggest concern was Full House or the Power Puff Girls.

"Okay, Mrs. Swan," Alice giggles, the sound lifting me from my thoughts. "Sounds fun."

"Perfect! I'll call Phee-Phee now and let her know." Ma jumps up from the table and runs to the phone, grabbing it off the base and dialing in furious excitement. "I am so excited." She looks at me with the phone pressed to her ear. "Hunny, go hop in the shower before me so you and Alice can get going. I want you to have enough time for just the two of you."

_Thank. The. Lord. _"Kay, thanks." I look into Alice's eyes and bite my lip, suddenly anxious. "Will you wait?"

She just smiles. "Yep."

I get up and walk past my mother who is gushing like a school girl on the phone. When I reach the stairs, I turn back around and see Alice picking at the leftover sausage gravy on my plate. "You're sure? You can leave if you want..."

Alice looks up and giggles. "I'll be here. Now, hurry." She waves me away and then turns back to devouring my gravy.

I run to my room. Not wanting to waste any time or any of Alice's patience, I quickly grab my clothes for the day. A pair of black socks and underwear. I opt to not wear a bra, the pain in my side from...well... It would just add unnecessary pressure. It's not like I really need a bra anyway. I choose a pair of light blue jeans, a long sleeved blue v-neck and my favorite hand-me-down over-sized grey flannel button up. This is something Jasper would call my "hobo chic" getup, but I'm all for comfort.

Once in the shower, I quickly wash my hair, then carefully lather soap around the large bruise on my side. I shake my head at the ugly black spot that takes up my entire side. I want to be shocked that he could do such a thing, but I'm not. At all. And that is fucking sad.

Despite the evidence of last nights horrifying events written on my side and all over Ma's face, I cannot help but feel an easiness in the air surrounding me. The problem is far from over but the present feels so free, alive, so full of possibilities. My ma, despite her injuries, is happy and gleeful as she has ever been and I – ME – have a day planned with Alice. A day date. Full of chances. Chances for me to learn and her to see.

But I'm not totally consumed in this temporary world where everything is howdy-good-day. I'm worried about my best friends who are currently sitting their underage asses in jail. In jail with my father.

And Felix.

And Jane.

And all the other asshole pigs who couldn't care less about anyone or anything but themselves and their dirty money.

But I let the knowledge of Eleazar and his dedication to his family soften my heart and put my mind at ease. He'll rectify this situation. It's only a matter of time. I'll my Jedward in no time at all.

I try not to worry too hard.

When I am all dressed, I haphazardly blow-dry my hair and scrub my teeth quickity-quick, itching to get back to Alice. I sprint to my room, leaving the steamy bathroom behind. I open the door to my bedroom and jump, startled to see Alice sitting at my makeshift desk.

"Oh!" I gasp, backing up against the wall, my hand over my rigid heart. It's getting a fucking workout these days.

"Sorry." She holds her hands up in a I-come-in-peace manor and smiles. "Your mom told me I could wait up here since she is busy on the phone. I hope that's okay with you."

"Yeah, cool. It's fine...heh...awesome. You're in my room. It's...great." I give her the thumbs up and grin-grimace like a motherfucking turd. I blush and throw my clothes into the hamper making sure to stuff my undies down where she can't see.

I feel her, so close, so scented, and so damn alluring. In my room. She's in my room. Alice fucking Hale is in my fucking room. It's part halleluiah-choir-of-angels, half fucking-shit-where-did-I-leave-those-tampons? I almost can't handle it.

I finally bite down the fear and anxiety and turn to Alice. She's watching me with curiosity in her eyes and a shining smile on her face. "I like your room," she finally mutters out, her eyes scanning the area before turning back to connect with mine.

"It's so small and...quaint. It has a homey feel that most teenagers aren't capable of, " she giggles. "I feel like I could just crawl into your bed and snuggle in for days."

I nearly fall off my own two feet at the mental image her words force unto me. I have to grab the dresser to steady myself, a small squeak escaping my parted lips.

"You alright?" Concern replaces the playful smirk as she quickly walks over to me, grabbing my elbow in her tiny hand. The touch actually fucking hurts with the electrical current and raw intensity and power it bleeds into my skin. I step out of her grip to stand by the window.

"I'm fine. Just a little lightheaded." My laugh is husky and awkward sounding, but Alice just smiles and nods.

She turns on the tips of her toes and sprints to my bed, plopping down on top of it. She giggles that giggle that makes my insides gaggle like a flock of geese as she turns onto her back. She leans up on her elbows and quirks a perfectly plucked brow at me. She's on my motherfucking bed. My bed. Mine. She's... There's no words. At least no coherent ones.

"My room is so open and bright. Not very comfy. I like this." She turns onto her side and snuggles into my decorative Mr. Yuk pillow, closing her eyes and smiling in contentment. Her fingers curl around the pillowcase. Mine curl around the windowpane in response. Her lips part in a soft sigh. My lips gape to let out a puff of silent air.

_Oh. My. God._

I try to say something, motherfucking anything, but words fail me. My tongue is as slack as my good-for-nothing jaw.

"So soft and snuggle-worthy," she sighs.

"You can snuggle in my bed anytime you want." I slap my hand over my moronic mouth. I finally get my damn tongue to roll back into my mouth long enough to form a coherent sentence and _that's_ what decided to spew out? _...the fuck._

"I mean...ah..."

Alice giggles with her eyes still closed, a blissful smile on her face. "You're so awkward." She peeks at me with one shining ocean blue eye. "I freaking adore it."

My entire face breaks into an all-consuming feverish blush and I have to look down. The girl lying on my bed, snuggled into my pillow – the girl I have fantasied, pined, groaned, and moaned over just told me I am awkward and she fucking adores it.

_Excuse me while I hallelujah. _

"We should get going," I whisper, my voice not capable of sound. "I was hoping we could stop by the Cullen mansion before we go to Port Angeles." I look at her hopefully. She is watching me now, so I turn my blissfully-blushing eyes back to the floor. "I want to check in with Esme and see how she is doing. Get an update on Edward and Jasper, I'm worried."

"That's fine." She sits up. "But why are you worried? You don't think your dad would-"

"I just want to check in," I quickly interrupt her. I don't want to think about my father and I definitely don't want Alice on the subject of him either.

"Sure." She shrugs, thankfully taking the hint. "Let's go."

Alice jumps off the bed and smiles at me. She takes the four giant steps to reach me. "Have I even thanked you yet? For yesterday? I mean... Wow." Her eyes stare into mine with something akin to wonderment. "You were like my knight in shining armor." She giggles that motherfucking giggle. Doesn't she know yet what that sound does to me. How it makes me feel?

"Or something like that," she carries on. Apparently she doesn't know. "I've never seen anything so selfless. It gives me hope for the human race." She rolls her eyes, her nose scrunching in an obnoxiously adorable way. "Unlike yours truly."

"What do you mean? You're the nicest person I've ever met." Is she in-fucking-sane or just self-deprecating? Because I have never heard something so damn ridiculous in all my life and I have listened to Edward's conspiracy theories.

"That's sweet, but I'm really not." She shakes her head. "Did you miss my little breakdown about my car?"

"You were overwhelmed. It happens." I try to defend her behavior but she just shakes her head harder. Without thinking I grab onto her hand and squeeze it in that same reassuring way she had done for me earlier. "That doesn't make you a bad person, Alice. Just human."

Alice grants me with a mock glare, her nose scrunching back in that adorably cute way again. "You're some kind of angel, aren't you?" She points an accusatory finger at me, her lips pursing. "You cannot be real."

"Funny. I think the same way about you."

_Aw, fuck._

I quickly drop Alice's hand and look away from her scrutinizing gaze. I scratch the back of my neck, avoiding her eyes. "We should go before my mom starts planning for another girls day." I roll my eyes half-heartedly and turn to leave.

"Sure, sure."

Halfway down the stairs, I look behind me to see Alice following closely, her face somewhat dazed and confused. She sees me looking and shakes her head as if to clear it. She smiles. I smile back. Of course I do.

"Ma, we're heading out. Are you okay here by yourself?" I yell out as I step into my beat up black chucks. I wonder if my father will show up when I leave and corner her. All alone. The thought makes me queasy-uneasy. Then I remember that he has his hands full of half the teens in Forks. When would he have the time?

Mom calls to me from the kitchen, her voice still gleeful-cheerful-out-of-the-ordinary. "Go ahead, baby girl. Phyllis will be picking me up shortly. Have fun and I'll see you in a bit. Bye, Alice!"

"Bye, Mrs. Swan!"

I walk out of the house in front of Alice and head to the driver side of her pretty black car. I open the door and turn to Alice, gesturing for her to get in.

She smiles shyly and quirks a brow. "You're opening my door for me, Swan?"

"Why not?" _Princess-Angels should be treated as such, right?_

Alice snickers under her breath and I notice a dusting of blush on her cheeks. She keeps her head down as she slides into the car, brushing up against me on the way. "You're an odd one, Bella." She looks up at me once she's seated. "Don't change."

I smirk. I can't help it. I'm fucking impressing her. Who the motherfuck knew I was capable of such a thing? I can't wait to tell Jedward.

I slide into the passenger side, feeling the smooth leather beneath me. Nasty images invade my minds perverted eye of Alice, hot, naked and splayed over the black leather, the touches of blue complimenting her lust-hooded eyes... Okay, I need to stop before I start rubbing my ass on the seat like a cat in heat...harder than I am now. I peek at Alice and luckily for me, she doesn't notice my down-low movements. I quickly cross my legs and get control of my gyrating pelvis. I clear my throat as she pulls out onto the street and zooms down the street far past the speed limit.

"So, uh, this sure ain't a car I see everyday." _Obviously._

"It was a gift." She shrugs. "From my uncle," she clarifies. "He lives in New York so this is, like, a common car out there. Out here, however..." She giggles. "It's a bit ostentatious."

"I think it fits you," I say without thinking.

Alice looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "Oh? How so?"

The blush is immediate. "Well...umm." I laugh uncomfortably and look anywhere but at Rated-R-Alice. "It's pretty and small and compact and it stands out from all the others." I shrug, then mumble into my sleeve, "It just fits."

I look down at my lap and lower myself into the seat. I peek up at Alice and she has a somber, contemplative look about her.

"That's...really nice." She chuckles, her eyes on me for a brief seconds before turning back to the road. "If I had to choose a car that best represented you, I'd choose a...hmm... Oh! A 1974 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray." She nods her head emphatically.

"Why?"

"Because it's classic and sleek. A little awkward to maneuver, but once you get a handle on it, it's smooth sailing." She nods again and smiles big and high. I'll admit. It makes me melt a little. "Yeah, you're that car. A blue one."

I blush and smile like crazy as I watch the blurring trees outside the window. "Why blue?" I ask an afterthought.

"Because it looks fantastic on you." She reaches her hand over and tugs playfully at the blue shirt I have on. She takes her eyes off the road, looks at my shirt between her fingers and then giggles. "Nice headlights, by the way." She snorts.

"Huh?"

"No bra today?" Her eyes zero in on my chest, her teeth biting a hole into her lip. I follow her line of sight and and gasp at what I see. Two motherfucking hardened nipples completely on show for the world to see.

"Fuck," I hiss, speedily buttoning up my flannel to the very top.

"It's okay." She's still laughing. "I've seen worse," she assures me with a gentle pat to my knee. "Jessica has huge ones and can never seem to find a bra." She snickers. "At least yours aren't about to poke an eye out."

I just shake my head and blush a storm, further sinking into the seat.

Alice grabs her iPod from the console and plugs it into the stereo.

"I hope you like my kind of music. Most people don't."

I watch her curiously, wondering what type of music she can listen to that people would oppose to as she takes her eyes off the road every few seconds to skim through her music lists.

"Ah-ha! That's what I'm talking about." She smiles and puts her iPod down as the familiar song starts to play.

_You don't want me, no_

_You don't need me_

_Like I want you, oh_

_Like I need you_

_And I want you in my life_

_And I need you in my life_

"The Pretty Reckless." I state matter-of-factly, leaning back in the seat, bringing my body up a little straighter. I turn my head to stare at her. "You."

It's one of my all time favorite songs. It so..._So._

"You know it?"

"I live it," I snort. I realize what I say and try to backpedal. "I mean, I love it. It's moving and powerful and...just... Alive." _So motherfucking alive._

"Yeah." She smiles happily. "I guess we have something in common. Music is a very important part of any relationship, you know?"

The car is quiet as the words flow beautifully from Taylor Momsens' sinful, knowing mouth. She speaks truth and pain and my, oh fucking my life.

_You can't feel me, no_

_Like I feel you_

_I can't steal you, no_

_Like you stole me_

_And I want you in my life_

_And I need you in my life_

I mouth the words into the passing trees because she speaks the words I cannot make myself say aloud.

* * *

**Song used: _You_ by _The Pretty Reckless_. They are fucking miraculous. For reals. Check them out.**

**Question!: I'm a bit of a baseball nut. Here's my question: Can you handle a play-by-play of the events to come at the game or no? Should I just give a little insight? Do you not give a common care either way?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good enough?**

**Summary: She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wall flower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts?**

**Warning!: If you haven't guessed already, this is a Bella/Alice story. It is full on lesbianism. Minor lesbian-not-straight acts in this chapter. Oh, and a thorough mind-fucking for our main character.**

**Closets Are For Clothes**

* * *

"Bella! How are you?" Carlisle pulls me into a tight embrace after he opens the door. "We were worried. Everyone is talking about how the police were called to the Chiefs own home so late last night." His brow creases with worry when he pulls me away and examines me from head to toe. He looks over my shoulder and gives Alice a small nod. "Hello."

He turns back to me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assure him with a grimace feeling the pain in my side radiate as fiery as the depths of Hell at the mention of last night. "I just came by to get an update. How's my Jedward?"

"Jasper will be getting out tonight I think, along with most of the teenagers who were taken. Edward, however," he sighs, looking years older.

"What?" Fucking worried now.

"They want to hold him for a while longer."

I start to panic – I know this is my fathers doing, that rat bastard motherfucker. Carlisle quickly reassures me that I have nothing to worry about. Eleazar is already on the case. "He won't let anything happen to him. I'm hoping to have my boy in school by Wednesday." He smiles tightly. I'm not totally convinced and I don't think he is either.

God, if anything happens to Edward just because he was trying to do something nice for me... I don't know what I'll do. I know Jasper will have a fucking meltdown. One simply cannot exist without the other.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen," Alice speaks up for the first time since we entered the Cullen mansion.

"If you'd like I could ask my father stop by the station and make sure he isn't messed with. He gives a lot of money to the station. That's how they got the bigger cruisers. I can call my dad now if you want..." She reaches into her purse but Carlisle shakes his head at her and smiles in his warm Carlisle way.

"No, thanks. But I appreciate the gesture, it was very sweet, Alice."

She nods and puts her purse back on her shoulder.

"Why don't you two come say hi to Esme," he suggests already walking toward the kitchen.

We follow quickly behind and find Esme stirring a bowl of chocolate mix furiously. She sees Carlisle and growls; the sound is near demonic. "Those little brats ate all my brownies yesterday, Carlisle. All of them. Do you have any idea how much mariju-"

"Sweetheart!" he interrupts her rage-rant, pointing to Alice and I standing awkwardly by the entrance to the kitchen. "We have guests."

Esme smiles at us and puts the bowl down wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She skips over and hugs me before pulling away and grabbing my face in her clammy hands. I look into her eyes and have to stop the urge to roll mine. Her green emeralds are dilated and red around the pupils. She's high as a motherfucking kite, this one.

"I am so relieved you are okay," she gushes, kissing both my cheeks sloppily and I can smell some serious kush coming off her so strong I'm starting to get contact high. She turns to Alice and gives her the same treatment.

"Hello, Alice. How's your father? He didn't show at the last book club and I haven't seen him at all this week." Even through the high-haze, she can show her Esme-concern.

"He's been in L.A. He's trying to set up another homeless shelter because they have to keep turning people away from the others," she's explains with clear pride and admiration. I smile and take her hand in mine just because it feels so good there.

"That's why I love that man," she sighs. Esme turns away and goes back to her brownies, muttering something about 'if I wasn't a married woman.' She throws a wink over her shoulder to Carlisle to which he just chuckles and shakes his head.

We stay at the Cullen's for only half an hour, joking and nibbling on chocolate brownies of the 'not-special' variety. We are back in the car and Alice turns to me with a wicked smile, her eyes positively gleaming.

"Mrs. Cullen was high." It isn't a question.

I scratch the back of my neck, uncomfortable with this totally-not-our-business-subject. "On life?"

Alice tilts her pretty head back and laughs. "_Nooo_. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout." She wiggles her eyebrows and winks at me.

"Hmm..." I'll have to tell them they aren't as discreet as they think. Though I trust Alice to not be a gossip-monger. She's better than that.

"Don't worry. I won't say anything," she assures me quickly. "I actually think it's pretty effing cool they're so 'with it.'" She scratches the air with her two fingers and rolls her eyes.

"But now I am curious." She purses her lips and I have to stop myself from thinking that's an invitation. "Does your mom...?"

"Gah, no! She would never." I can't even imagine my mother doing..._that. _She's too...my mom.

"Okay, okay. Sorry," she laughs again, shaking her head and finally pulling out onto the road. "Your mom is cool though. She's funny and nice and her love for you is..." She tilts her head to the side. "Great. She's really great."

"Yeah, I'm noticing that, too. When Dad is gone, she's so free." I shrug and look away. "It's odd." No other word to describe the two separate people that reside within one being that is my mother. It's just odd.

"Is he...is your dad... _Ugh_!" I look over at her and wince inwardly at the anger and desperation I see in her eyes. "Is he... I mean, her face...?" She looks to me helplessly and I don't know what comes over me.

"Yes," I whisper and the car goes silent for three minutes straight; I watch the clock on her stereo change with bated breaths. When I am concerned, Alice can be a damn dangerous creature. One look from her and I'd spill my life's story. And everyone else's.

I'm startled out of my own mind when she finally speaks again.

"So yesterday, when he _kicked_ _you_," she grinds out between clenched teeth, her words a long, low hiss. "like that, I am guessing it wasn't the first time."

"No, and it probably won't be the last time," I say honestly. And I really need to stop with that all-telling shit.

A look of shock and anger crosses Alice's face and I feel all the blood rush from my face and into my sweaty hands, numbing them with regret. I shouldn't have fucking said that. Secrets are secrets for a reason. They're meant to stay fucking sealed.

* * *

_Women know not the whole of their coquetry. ~François Duc de la Rochefoucauld_

* * *

We pull into the Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop at a little past 12 pm. The ride was quiet, peaceful, and yet, deafeningly loud. My words echoed, bouncing in the small confines of the car from my mouth to her ears, over and over and over, taunting me with my stupidity. Had I really been so careless as to say things to her that are meant to stay with me and my family? Am I becoming too comfortable with her? I'd like that, to be comfortable enough with her to share my every thought, desire, and fantasy but it isn't the time.

Not yet.

She's not ready for that. She may never be. I can only wait, be patient, and hopeful and maybe one day she'll look me in the eyes and tell me she sees my heart and feels the burning licks of fire that go off between us.

Right now, however, I'm having ice cream with her. Because step-by-step-slow is the only way to approach this. Slow, easy, and tender. That's what she needs. What we both need if we're ever going to... _b__e._

If I didn't just fucking ruin it with my secret-spewing mouth of doom.

"What kind of ice cream do you prefer?" She asks as we get in line behind a woman and her three little girls. Alice looks more than happy to change the subject and I am all too willing to oblige. I store away the uncomfortable conversation into the darkest part of mind, and just like that I am Alice's Bella. I'm here with her and not back in the car.

I scan the different flavors, spotting one I like. I smile and point. "Mint chocolate chip, definitely."

Alice scrunches up her nose in distaste. "Never had it. I don't think mint and chocolate belong in the same sentence together, let alone in the same ice cream. They simply cannot cohabitate," she says in all seriousness.

I chuckle and shake my head at her. "You don't know what you're missing."

"I like cotton candy." She points to the pink and blue swirl through the glass. "It's super yummy in the tummy." She rubs her flat little tummy as if to demonstrate her point but all it does is bring attention to her perfection. I can't not stare.

"I've only ever had it in Popsicle form from the ice cream truck."

"Then _you're_ the one who's missing out, girl. Now, what kind of cone do you want? I'm getting a sugar cone. They're the bo-omb," she sing-songs, smiling and jumping around like the 5 year old girls in front of us.

"Waffle."

Alice sends me a mock glare. "I fear our ice cream differences are going to shove a wedge between us," she says waving between out bodies. "Your tastes are in the wrong while mine are in the yummy. That's not gonna fly, Swan."

"Oh, really?" I play along, glaring right back at her. It doesn't last long since her beauty brings me to my fucking dirty knees. I crack the first smile and she sticks her tongue out at me.

The line moves up and the boy behind the counter makes eyes at Alice. The anger and jealousy is immediate as they override my body, making me literally shake with suppressed rage.

_That's my baby_. The thought is possessive and so not me but, seriously, _back the fuck off my chick._

"Hey, I'm Marcus." His eyes for her only. As always, I may as well not even exist. "You can call me Marky if you want, cutie." He winks at her and I have to stop myself from grabbing her by her hair and dragging her out and claiming her in my cave.

"Marcus," she smiles and I feel only slightly comforted by the fact that Alice did not use that ridiculous nickname. "Can I please have a scoop of cotton candy on a sugar cone and a scoop of mint chocolate chip on a waffle cone?"

He looks taken aback by the brushoff, obviously used to getting his share of women. He shakes his head and glares now. I'll slap the fuck out him if he doesn't direct it at someone else.

_Whoa, where the fuck did this side of me come from?_

"So you want any toppings or what?" His tone is rude. He crosses his wiry arms over his puffed out chest.

She turns to me, either oblivious to the rejected fool or not caring. "Do you want any toppings?" I shake my head and she turns back to _Marky_ with a polite smile. "No, thank you."

As we grab our cones, Alice hands hers to me and takes out her wallet.

"Oh, I have money, Alice, hang on." I wiggle around, trying to figure out how to pull my wallet from my jeans with two cones in my hands. I can feel my face scrunch up in a not-cute way. It doesn't seem doable. "Just let me-"

"Bella, please." She rolls her pretty blue eyes and chuckles at my little dance-around. "I owe you."

"If you're sure?" _Not that she owes me a damn thing, but I'm not one to pass up on free ice cream._

"Keep the change."

Alice grabs her cone from my hand, her fingers brushing mine sending shivers throughout my body. Her eyes flash and she looks up into mine. She takes a long, slow lick, her eyes never leaving mine, and _oh God, my God, what is she doing to me_? She has to fucking know what she is doing to me.

I can hear the squeak little Marky gives and it's almost as loud as my own. "Mmm, delicious," she moans, her eyes rolling slightly. She starts to walk backward to a table in the corner, her smile one of devious intent.

"Wanna taste?" she asks holding her cone out to me as I follow her like a brainless zombie.

"Humm, what?" _Did she really just ask-?_

Alice giggles, her shoulders rising to her ears and falling slowly. "Here." She holds the cone up to my mouth and presses it lightly to my lips. "Stick out your tongue," she demands and I, of course, offer no argument. I stick my tongue out and lick the creamy smooth surface, tasting cotton candy and _Alice_. And, oh _**fuck.**_

I can't fucking handle it. I can't _fucking_ handle _it_. I close my eyes at the sensations rolling through me and moan softly, my body in near convulsions.

"So?" Alice asks and I wrench my heavy eyes open.

"Best thing I've ever tasted. Ever."

Alice smiles and looks at something out of the corner of her eye. She snorts and I follow her eyes. Marcus-Marky is standing there, his face pink and his mouth open and twitching. He's ignoring the elderly woman and her grandson who are trying to get his attention.

"Men." She rolls her eyes, a wry smirk in place. She turns on her heels and sits at the booth in the corner, close to the ice cream cakes. She pats the spot right next to her. "Come on. Let's talk."

I sit down shakily. "W-what do you want to talk about?"

"You."

"Me?" _I want to talk about you and what game you're playing, Little Love._

She nods, her smile glowing. "I'm going to fire off question after question and you can't think about the answer. Just say whatever comes to mind, okay?"

I nod hesitantly. This could be a very dangerous game.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Uh," I chuckle lowly. I wasn't expecting something so trivial. This I can handle. This I can do. I smile, more confident now. "Okay, I like blue." I don't tell her why. That would probably send her running for the hills.

"Is The Pretty Reckless your favorite band?"

"Probably." I shrug. I have many favorites.

"When is your birthday?"

"September 13th."

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes." _Without a doubt. Who else but God could create something as wonderful and perfect as you?_

"What's your favorite class?"

"Lunch."

She giggles but otherwise continues firing off question after question, all erratic and unrelated. There's no rhyme or reason and I easily fall into step.

"Is that your natural hair color?" She picks up a lock of my hair, smoothing it through her fingers and letting it fall to my shoulder.

I shiver. "Yes."

"Do you smoke?"

"Never."

"Height?"

"5'7" or 5'8""

"Shoe size?"

"Nine in women and seven and a half in men."

"Skirts or jeans?"

I pull the knee on my jeans and smile. "Jeans."

"Halter tops or t-shirts?"

"T-shirts."

"Virgin or not?"

"Virg-wait...huh?"

Alice smiles evilly. "So you're a virgin? I knew it." She flicks her tongue over her ice cream and hums happily to herself.

I tuck my shin into my chest. "Umm, yeah. Of course you knew that." Is this like a test I had to pass? Did I fail?

"Hey, hey," she coos softly, pulling my chin up to look into her eyes. "Nothing wrong with that, sweetie. It's actually refreshing. You're, like, the only girl in Forks who still has it all intact," she snorts.

"Odd man out, that's me." _Always._ I know I shouldn't take offense to her words but I can't help it. Will she think I'm a total loser or something?

"No, no, no," she sighs. "I offended you. I didn't mean to do that. I'm just used to talking to Jessica and Lauren and they're so much more open about...everything." She shudders.

"It's fine. I don't mind telling you things." I meet her eyes and see the desperation there. I smile at her ruefully. "But that was a cruel trick."

I'm honestly just relieved that she doesn't think any less of me. That sounds bad but that's how the world works. If you're not 'getting it in' you're a prude. And prudes aren't very well accepted. Not in this century.

Alice sighs, relieved. "It wasn't a trick. I really wanted to know those things about you. But I saved the best for last." She smiles smugly. "And I have to say that I am not mad at the result."

"What does that mean?"

She shrugs. "Honestly?" I nod, kind of hoping in vein that she is about to profess her undying love for me. Fat chance, I know. "I have no frigging clue. Your guess is as good as mine, Brown Eyes."

Her eyes dart down to the melting ice cream in my hand and she dips her head down, taking the whole thing in her mouth, slurping up the excess green cream, licking around the cone, catching my fingers with her tongue. "Mmm, that is good."

I look down at my now shiny ice, then Alice, then back again and again. My gulp is audible and painful. I can't help it. I bring the Alice-tongue-violated ice cream to my mouth and take a lick, relishing in the taste of my favorite ice cream mixed with my new favorite flavor – Alice.

I look to see Alice glaring across the room, her cheeks pink with anger. "I think I'm done here," she grumbles. "That creep keeps staring at us."

I glance over my shoulder at the guy behind the counter. He is mindlessly piling ice cream on a cone and staring at the two of us with barely masked lust, though I doubt any of it is actually aimed at me.

"Let's go for a drive until it's time for the game," she says as she gets up and walks to the door, completely ignoring the eyes of star-struck Marky-Mark behind the counter. I won't lie. It makes me giddy.

I happily follow Alice out of the shop and into the slightly chilly wind. Before I leave, I smile and turn, waving to the boy. "Bye, Marky." _You poor wanting_ _bastard_.

* * *

_A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart_

* * *

Piled high with nachos, hot dogs and root beer, we scour the bleachers to find the perfect place to sit. According to Alice, part of enjoying a baseball game is munching down on horrible-for-your-hips-but-yummy-on-the-lips food and sitting as close to the ball diamond as possible.

We sit down right up front. Alice waves to a short, dark haired boy swinging a bat in one of the dugouts. I can tell, even from this far away, that they have the same face and electric eyes. I've never met her brother, but I know for sure that that is Alec. He raises his hand, waving to her with much less enthusiasm, then goes back to practice swinging his bat.

"I am so excited! I haven't watched a live game in forever. No one ever wants to go with me," Alice says with a pout on those kissables.

"I'll go with you anytime you want."

Alice smiles a smile so wide her cheeks almost disappear and stuffs a hot dog in her mouth, then takes a sip of her root beer, gulping it down with a painful sound. She stands up on the bleachers and waves her hands around wildly. "Alec! You gonna lose, boy!" I laugh as I watch Alice taunt, hoot and holler at her obviously annoyed and embarrassed brother.

I scan the large park, looking for my mother, a little scared that she may not show. I see kids playing with their parents, giggling and chowing down on hot dogs A man dressed in a baseball uniform from the other team is kissing a woman wearing a Redhawks hat so passionately I blush and look away. Then I see Phyllis crossing the park to the dugout. I follow her with my eyes and see my Ma leaning against one of the benches with a smile on her face. She is wearing a long sleeved mint green shirt, a UDub baseball hat, and large sunglasses that take up most of her face.

I'm about to call to her and let her know where we are but I get stopped right in my tracks with my hand in the air when Phyllis finally makes it to her and takes Ma into her arms in a way-too-passionate-for-friends embrace. She kisses Ma's neck roughly, then moves onto her face, removing the glasses as she places soft kisses on her battered and bruised cheek, then the other side. I bit my own tongue when her lips connect with my Ma's.

_She just kissed my mother. A woman just fucking kissed my fucking straight mother! My straight fucking mother just kissed a woman._

"Oh, holy hickory farm," I gasp, stunned stupid.

Alice drops from her stance on the bleachers onto her butt and looks at me with surprised concern. "What? What happened? What's going on? What are you looking at?" She is about to turn around when I come to some senses. I shake my head and snap out of my horrified trance. I grab Alice's face and make her look at me before she can see what is going on.

I think quickity-quick on my feet and bare my teeth at her, biting down my humiliation. "Do I have anything in my teeth?" I ask.

Alice leans in close and looks closely, her face right by my mouth. With her this close, all thoughts of my Ma and Phyllis leave. My mind is dazed and hazed and fogged with Alice.

"No, but you smell like minty chocolate. I like it."

I blush and close my lips over my teeth. I pick up my root beer down by my feet and sip at it just as Ma is approaching with a big smile and some food of her own. I watch her with wide open eyes, following her every movement. I'm, still not sure I saw what I think I saw. I mean, seriously. What the fuck are the odds of that shit?

"Hey, girls! Did you have fun today?" She plops down heavily next to me and leans in to kiss my cheek. All I can see is an instant replay of her and _her_ and the kissing and the...GAH! Without thinking I move away from my Ma's lips, instantly regretting it when she pulls back with shocked hurt written on her face.

I quickly smile and lean into place a kiss on her cheek, hoping to God I am not kissing anywhere near where _she_ did.

"I did!" Alice pipes up smiling at Ma with a chunk of hot dog hanging from her mouth.

"Me, too. Lots of fun." I eye my mother warily, waiting for her to come out of the proverbial closet and further tip my world on its axis.

"Well, good." Her eyes catch the food surrounding our feet and she chuckles. "I hope you guys are saving room for dinner. Phyllis is treating us to Sabai Thai. I've never been, but I hear it's amazing."

"Who told you that? Phyllis?" I hear myself saying words but I don't fucking know the reason behind them.

"Lots of people," Ma answers tilting her head to the side. Her eyes are studying me as she reaches out and grasps my arm. "Is something wrong, Bella?"

"I don't know. Should we ask Phyllis? She seems to have all the answers lately." _Oh. My. Gawd. Shut your hole Bella!_

"I'm sorry?" Ma laughs. Not in a 'you're-so-cute-and-funny' kind of way. More like 'are-taking-some-drugs-I-should-know-about' kind of way.

"What's wrong with you, Bella?" Alice chimes from the side of, distracting me from my mother's face. Which is good. If I keep looking at her I'll do or say something stupid...er. This is just something that I cannot process right now.

_My mother does not bat for the home team. She just doesn't._

I smile at her apologetically. "God, nothing." I laugh and shake my head trying to clear out some very unpleasant images. "I'm just cranky, I guess. I didn't sleep well."

Ma pulls my attention back to her by cupping my chin and giving me a look of deep concern. "Would you like to lie down in Phyllis' car. Her back seat is big enough."

And just like a switch being flipped, I go off.

"How the hell would you know if it is big enough to lie down?" I'm incredulous and seriously asking for a good smacking. But all I can see now is my mother and that...that...that filthy Phyllis in the backseat of her car. She's doing unimaginable things to my poor innocent mother.

"Isabella Marie Swan, what has gotten into you?" Ma drops her hand from my chin and glares at me.

"Seriously. Take a pill, Bella," Alice adds in.

"Nothing!" I turn to her with wide eyes and try to smile. I am making an ass out of myself in front of Deep-Desire and I need to stop. I chuckle low in my throat and stare ahead at the players on the field.

"Nothing, I'm sorry." I slap my cheek softly, clearing my head. "I think they're starting now."

Ma and Alice look to the field where the players are setting and getting ready to play, both of them casting curious glances at me every now and again. The game starts and they go silent, watching and hopefully forgetting about my little fit. I try to as well.

I don't really like baseball or understand it but as I gather it UDub is on the offense, the Seattle Redhawks on the defense. Alec is first, I think, since he's the one to walk up with his bat swinging cockily around his fist as he steps up to the plate. Some unnamed guy pitches the ball, he swings, he misses. This happens twice and I am already bored. The only thing entertaining is Alice standing again on the bench, yelling and psyching him out. With the third swing, he hits the ball, one of the fielders make a grab for it, but just barely misses. It bounces out of his grasp and away from him and he chases it as if Alec himself is controlling the ball to his own satisfaction. It's actually quite funny, I must admit.

"Boo! Alec sucks! Boo!" Alice yells giving her poor brother the thumbs down and blowing raspberries into the air.

I can't help but smile up at the energized little bunny. It also doesn't hurt that her wild waving exposes a slit of flesh between her shirt and skirt. I lick my dry lips and scoot around on the bench, suddenly very uncomfortable. I can't stop thinking about how silky smooth that piece of skin must feel and how I want to touch her there, kiss her there, lick her there. Before I can stop I find myself reaching for her. Her skin so close to my fingers I can feel the warmth radiating off her.

The shrill sound of hundreds of people cheering suddenly pulls me back to reality. I pull my hand back so quick I hit myself square in the jaw. I'm still rubbing the sore spot when Alice giggles and drops to the spot next to me.

I shake my head at myself and busy my wandering mind with the rest of the horribly boring game. I'm not too sure what happens, but I know that UDub loses to the Seattle Redhawks, and quite painfully by the sound of things.

"That just sucked," Alice whines, her puckered pouter on full display.

Ma laughs and reaches over to take Alice's hand in hers. "Alice, you were booing our team the entire time."

"I was booing my brother," she clarifies indignantly. "I still wanted us to win."

Ma's smile is fond and glowing as she stares at Alice. "You're too much." She shakes her head. "I'm going to go find Phyllis. Wait for us in the parking lot."

"You got it, Mrs. Swan."

The air is starting to get very chilly as we wait by Alice's car for my Ma and _that _woman. Alice smiles at me, that wicked gleam I first witnessed in the ice cream shop making another appearance.

"Got room for one more under there?" she asks, grabbing a fistful of my large flannel, a shiver ripping through her.

"Uh...kay. Sure. Yeah...heh...come on." I give myself a mental pep talk as I lean against the car and unbutton my shirt, opening it for Alice to slip in the warmth of it.

_I won't grope her,_ I remind myself as she wraps her arms around my middle, snuggling her sweet smelling head into my chest.

_I will not combust with lust_, I tell myself as I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her so so so close to me. My eyes nearly roll to the back of my head, my body shivering from pure pleasure. Her body feels so good pressed against mine.

Alice smiles up at me as I take my hands away from her for a moment to button us up, cocooning us in a cozy little bubble of comfort. Maybe when we finally come out we'll have transformed into some beautiful Bellice creature. I can only hope.

"You're pretty comfy for being so slim," she sighs into my exposed collarbone.

"Thanks?" I can't even contain the trembles.

Alice laughs and snuggles herself impossibly closer to me. I shiver but it's definitely not from the cold. I've never been hotter, actually. "I like you so much," she sighs again, her hot breath tickling my skin.

I smile and lean my cheek atop her head, her smell is dizzying. "I like you, too." _Just maybe not in the way you're referring, Little Love._

"What was that all about earlier?" she asks suddenly bringing me out of my Alice-bliss. She looks up into my eyes and quirks her brow daringly. "What do got against Phyllis? I've met her a few times and I think she's really nice."

_Oh, God. She had to bring that up._

All I can see now I those two and lips and grossness. I pull away from Alice only slightly, not wanting to really touch her anymore, not with Ma and Phyllis prancing in my head. My whole body blushes, heating our cocoon.

"I like her. I mean, I don't not like her. I... I don't know." I used to like her.

Alice's brow furrows and her lips purse. "Is it because she is a lesbian?" she whisper asks.

"Wh...what?" I didn't even know she was, though that explains the fondling of my Ma. But Ma...she can't be.

"Just because she is a lesbian doesn't make her a bad person, Bella," Alice says with disappointment in her tone and all over her face.

"No! I am totally fine with that." I quickly clear up. "I honestly didn't know she was one. But I have no problems with it at all. It's fine." _More than fine._

"Good," she sighs, smiling. "I've seen a lot of people come down hard on her for it and it really bothers me. She's so sweet and her sexuality shouldn't put people off so much."

"I agree. Totally and completely." _More than you know._

"So, what is it, then?"

"Huh?"

She rolls her eyes and heaves an exasperated sigh. "What is your beef with poor Phyllis?"

I open my mouth and am about to spill my damn guts to this girl once again. I'm about to tell her just what I saw even and how it makes me feel, but I am interrupted – thanks, God – by Phyllis and Ma skipping up to us, hand in hand.

"Hi, Bella! I am so happy you came." Phyllis wraps me up in an awkward three way hug with Alice in the middle, still stuck in my shirt. She giggles as she pulls away. "Alice, always good to see you, sweetie."

Alice nods at her and snuggles back into my arms. "Hey," she smiles. "Nice playing out there."

"Not good enough," she frowns.

"Bella," Ma interjects. "we're not going home tonight," she informs me so off the shoulder.

"What? Where are we staying?"

"I think it would be best if we stayed out tonight. I already packed your bag. We're staying at Phyllis' apartment. Just for the night."

I look at her like she has lost her marbles because after what I witnessed today that probably isn't too far from the mark. "What about dad?" He'd kill us if we stayed out.

"What about him," Phyllis spits, dragging my Ma to her side.

"Phee, please." She puts her hand around that woman's waist and Phyllis wraps hers around her shoulders bringing her closer. Ma sighs and looks me in the eye. "It isn't up for discussion. I'm not staying there tonight and neither are you."

"No offense," I say, a little snarkier than I planned. "but I don't really know Phyllis. I won't be comfortable staying with her." _And her corruptive wandering hands._

"You'd be more comfortable at home with Charlie?" She quirks a daring brow, full on mother-knows-best mode.

"Well..." _Can I flip a coin?_

"Stay with me," Alice says suddenly, her eyes peering up into mine. "Stay with me, not your father. Please?"

"There you go! Now everyone is happy." Ma claps her hands and doesn't even wait for my confirmation before she turns and walks to Phyllis' car. They wave as they walk away and I want to reach out and slap that smile off Phyllis' face.

Alice slides out from under the shirt, her face dangerously close with my forbidden zone. My eyes are wide as saucers when she pops out from under my shirt and smirks at me and again I wonder, _what game are you playing?_ I walk on wobbly knees to the passenger side.

Once I am securely inside and not face down on the pavement, Alice turns to me with excitement in her eyes and glowing in her toothy smile.

"We're gonna have some fun. Ooh, maybe I can invite some of the girls and we can have a beauty night. We can do each others nails and I _have_ to get my hands on your hair. Do you like waxing? We can wax and pluck and... Oooh! Make cupcakes!" She prattles on and on while we follow Ma and _that woman_ to the restaurant.

Tonight is going to be crazy.

* * *

**Next up, an incredibly awkward dinner and then...well, sleepy time at Alice's. Should be a blast!**

**Question!: Should there be slumber party crashers? I have two different ideas and outcomes for the next chapter. One involving the crashers and one with just Alice and Bella. What do you think?**


	9. Not an update

Okay. So I will not be able to update for a while longer. I am working on getting my GED and becoming an ultrasound technician – SO exciting! Unfortunately, this means I don't have the time to focus on fanfiction, for which I am very very very very sorry. This will be on a temporary hiatus until I find the time between getting my GED, attending classes, and taking care of two hell-raisers and a cat.

I hope you still stick with me. An update is in the future, I just don't know how far in the future.

Delaney_._


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